The Adventures of Shamrock Girl & Friends, Etc!

Rating: 1-10 stars
I give this grub: 1 stars!

Why:

- The sappy tagline gets on my damn nerves!

Tagline:   THE POND FINALLY FROZE, WE SKATED UNTIL DARK, NOBODY FORGETS THOSE DAYS.  NESTLE’S HOT COCOA MAKES THE MOMENT EVEN BETTER! OVER 100 YEARS OF MAKING CHOCOLATEY MEMORIES.

- Basically when I hear this tagline, I want to sentimentally puke my guts out to Barbra Streisand’s hit 70′s song, Evergreen while jumping around ridiculously as if I were a prima ballerina hooked on a bad batch of cocaine.  P.S.   A good tagline shouldn’t really make a person want to do that.

- I vehemently disagree with their 6 delicious servings claim on the box.

- I dislike their ploy to get consumers to buy this average tasting swill with a health & fitness fact.

Health & Fitness Fact:  Delicious Nestle‘s Hot Cocoa Mini Marshmallows contain natural antioxidants and is an excellent source of calcium. Antioxidants help to protect cells from damage and calcium helps to build strong bones.  P.S.   Oh, big woo!

- I hate it that I have to add two extra teaspoons of sugar to their hot cocoa mix even though I know that it is a rich milk chocolate flavor. Hey, it’s Nestle chocolate for christ sake, they need to live up to their name, i.e. their cocoa should be as sweet as hell! That’s false advertising, baby!

My Grub Recommendation(s):

- To any Nestle executives out there listening, you guys and gals need to find a way to powderize or liquidize your kick-assly delicious, Nestle Crunch Bar and turn that into hot cocoa mix gold! Put 6 delicious servings of that into every box followed by 6 small plastic packages of rice to sprinkle on top of the hot cocoa mix to really get the Nestle Crunch Bar experience. Yummy to my tummy!

- However Nestle, if you continue to churn out your average tasting current hot cocoa recipe, for the love of god, spice that shit up by teaming up with a liquor manufacturer who makes liquors like Butterscotch Ripple or Strawberry Schnapps and offer an ADULT line of hot cocoa for people over the age of 21 then put anywhere from 6-12 small plastic bags of the liquor in with the Nestle’s Mini Marshmallows Hot Cocoa Mix and watch the profits rise like an ultra sexually excited nerd’s dick!

- And Nestle, for the love of god, please provide at least 6-12 small plastic bags of marshmallows separately to put on top of your cocoa because right now your current method sucks serious deviled eggs! Nestle, there is nothing more irritating than wanting to sit down to have a nice hot cup of cocoa especially on a very cold day only to rip open one of your hot cocoa packages and add hot water to it only to find the marshmallows that were in your hot cocoa mix totally dissolved and gone due to the hot water. Nestle, stop the madness and just put your hot chocolate mix and your marshmallows into two separate packages! Duh! Again Nestle, there is also nothing more irritating and time consuming than having to use your sifter or spaghetti strainer to separate the two because you refuse to do it for some reason. Nestle, this is your job not mine! And I also don’t appreciate having to wash extra dishes because you refuse to use two separate packages for your cocoa and marshmallows. I’m just sayin’! P.S. I know that I can always buy a separate bag of marshmallows and put extra ones on top of the ones that have dissolved because of the hot water that I added to your cocoa which I currently do but Nestle I really shouldn’t have to because that is your job. I’m just sayin’!