Archive for Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden’s Pop Culture Dictionary
March 27, 2012 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Pop Culture, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Addict, Ashton Kutcher, Beat, Bird, Celebrities, Dictionary, Dude, Follow, Funny, Humor, Impersonator, Jackson 5, Living, LOL, Lyrics, Major, Michael Jackson, Pissed Off, Pop Culture, Psycho, Reciprocate, Rockin' Robin, Shit, Sing, Skip, Song, Spoof, Tina Knowledgeable Peden, Tool, Tweet, Twitter, Twitterer
(Definition) Twittertude occurs when a person decides to “follow” a fellow twitterer on Twitter then gets extremely pissed off when the person doesn’t reciprocate by following them.
I will now use this word in a sentence to clarify it’s meaning.
Hey dude, look at that dumb-ass tool with a major twittertude beating the living shit out of that Michael Jackson impersonator just because the guy skipped by him singing The Jackson 5 lyric, “Rockin’ Robin, Tweet, Tweet, Tweet!” Damn dude, Ashton Kutcher is a total psycho Twitter addict!
And for all of you Twitter addicts out there with major twittertudes, here’s some song lyrics just for you!
Rockin’ Robin by The Jackson 5!
He rocks in the tree tops all day long
Hoppin’ and a-boppin’ and singing his song
All the little birdies on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin’ tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin’ robin
‘Cause we’re really gonna rock tonight
Every little swallow, every chick-a-dee
Every little bird in the tall oak tree
The wise old owl, the big black crow
Flappin’ their wings singing go bird go
Rockin’ robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin’ tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin’ robin
‘Cause we’re really gonna rock tonight
Yeah yeah
Pretty little raven at the bird-band stand
Told them how to do the bob and it was grand
They started going steady and bless my soul
He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriol
He rocks in the tree tops all day long
Hoppin’ and a-boppin’ and singing his song
All the little birdies on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin’ tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin’ robin
‘Cause we’re really gonna rock tonight
Pretty little raven at the bird-band stand
Told them how to do the bop and it was grand
They started going steady and bless my soul
He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriol
He rocks in the tree tops all day long
Hoppin’ and a-boppin’ and singing his song
All the little birdies on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin’ robin’ tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin’ robin
‘Cause we’re really gonna rock tonight
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February 13, 2012 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Pop Culture, Sex, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Alcohol, Beer, Boobs, Butt, Couple, Drunk, Elvis Presley, Head Shaking, Hound Dog, Intense, Intoxicated, Jello Shot, Lisa Marie Presley, Love, Margarita, Passion, Police, Pop Culture, Priscilla Beaulieu Presley, Public Display, Rub, Sex, Shit Faced, Snicker, Tweak, Upchucking, Whiskey Sour, Witness, Words & Phrases. Dictionary
Sex Definition: S.F.O.L. stands for Shit-Faced On Love.
Instead of a couple being drunk on margaritas, whiskey sours, beer or jello shots like normal people they are drunk on their love for each other. When these couples are together they experience an overwhelming intoxicating feeling of intense passion for each other which often leads to public displays of french-kissing, butt-rubbing and boob-tweaking. It also leads individuals who witness these displays to engage in head-shaking, soft-snickering, mucho-upchucking and police-calling.
I will now use this phrase in a sentence to clarify its meaning.
Hey Jebidiah, look at those two hound dogs all shit-faced on love! Dude, check out what they are doing all over that tacky-ass Elvis Presley life-sized placemat! Dude, i’m all shook up!
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January 4, 2012 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Anniversary, Appease, Birthday, Celebrity Dads, Children, Dad, Dictionary, Famous Dads, Father, Father's Day, Greeting Card, Happy, I'm A Little Teapot Short And Stout, Kids, Medical, Nomy, Onomy, Pa, Papa, Pop, Pop Culture, Procedure, Progeny, Sentence, Special, Stepford Wives, Suffix, Temporary, Words, Words And Phrases, Youngins
(Definition) An appeasepaonomy is a painful procedure in which children undergo a temporary “Stepford Wives” transformation for their dad’s birthday, Father’s Day, anniversary or some other important event in their father’s life where they will wear whatever crappy outfit that their dad wants them to wear, sing whatever silly song that their dad wants them to sing, be nice to people that they can’t stand, go to places that they wouldn’t be caught dead at et cetera et cetera et cetera only because they love their dad so dearly and they will put up with this torture temporarily just to make him happy on his special day.
I will now use this word in a sentence to clarify it’s meaning.
“For his dad’s 65th birthday, Shamus had to undergo a serious appeasepaonomy along with a little help from three shots of 180 proof Jack Daniels Whiskey in order to perform the song, “I’m A Little Teapot Short And Stout” in front of 5,000 guests that his father has loved him performing ever since he did it in his first grade school play.”
P.S. Dad, I want you to know that performing the song, “I’m A Little Teapot Short And Stout” in front of 5,000 people that I barely knew was the single most embarrassing moment of my life but i’m really glad that you loved my performance! Happy birthday day from your loving son, Shamus who will one day make you pay for this!”
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January 4, 2012 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Anniversary, Appease, Birthday, Celebrity Moms, Children, Dictionary, Famous Moms, Greeting Card, Happy, Kids, Ma, Mama, Medical, Mom, Mother, Mother's Day, Nomy, Onomy, Pop Culture, Procedure, Progeny, Sentence, Special, Stepford Wives, Suffix, Temporary, Words, Words And Phrases, Youngins
(Definition) An appeasemaonomy is a painful procedure in which children undergo a temporary “Stepford Wives” transformation for their mom’s birthday, Mother’s Day, anniversary or some other important event in their mother’s life where they will wear whatever crappy outfit that their mom wants them to wear, sing whatever silly song that their mom wants them to sing, be nice to people that they can’t stand, go to places that they wouldn’t be caught dead at et cetera et cetera et cetera only because they love their mom so dearly and they will put up with this torture temporarily just to make her happy on her special day.
I will now use this word in a sentence to clarify it’s meaning.
“For her mother’s 50th wedding anniversary, Sasha had to undergo one hell of an appeasemaonomy along with one hell of an upchucking session in order to put on that long-ass neon orange and yellow dress with the two million hot pink ruffles that her mother thinks that she looks so pretty in.”
P.S. Mom, even though your taste in clothes is total shit, I still really love you anyway! Love Sasha!
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December 24, 2011 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged 2, 22, 70's, Alzheimer's Disease, Angel, Apeshit, Ass, Celebrity Deaths, Charlie's Angel, Choppers, Class, Classic Tv Shows, College Aged, Condition, Cuckoo, Definitions, Dirty, Domestic Violence, Drink, Eat, Farrah Fawcett, Forgetful, Freak, Fruitcake, Fuck, Gelatin Mold, Girls Gone Wild, Hairstyles, Heaven, Icons, Jacked Up, Jello Shots, Lipstick, Michael Jackson, Mom, Mommy, Phrases, Pop Culture, Poster, Psychological, Saliva, Seventies, Sex Symbols, Shit, Slacking, Smelly, Spelling, Spring Break, Stainless Steel, Subpoena, Sue, Teeth, Terms, The Burning Bed, Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Twenty Two, Two, Victims, White, Words And Phrases
(Definition) Choppers Complex 22 is a psychological condition in which an individual won’t eat or drink anything for twenty-two hours after they brush their teeth for fear that they will get their teeth dirty too soon thus giving them only 2 lousy hours out of the entire day to scarf and drink some shit down which really pisses them the hell off and often makes them go apeshit really easily.
I will now use this term in a couple of sentences to clarify it’s meaning.
“Look at that good-lookin’ guy with the tight cute ass and a major case of choppers complex 22 freak the fuck out just because his girlfriend got her nasty-ass smelly saliva and tacky-ass blood red lipstick all over his beautiful white teeth!”
“When Dr. Martin, the orthodontist with alzheimer’s disease, suggested to a couple of his college-aged patients with choppers complex 22 that they do a couple of jello shots for him while they were on Spring Break this year they all voted unanimously to beat the living shit out of his forgetful ass with a stainless-steel-girls-gone-wild-gelatin-mold.”
“Hey mommy! Listen to this song that I wrote while slacking off in Mrs. Keane’s spelling class:
Ralphie Conner has choppers complex 22,
He is a total fruitcake and the class thinks he’s really cuckoo,
Because of all the jacked-up shit me and the class have done to him his tired-ass mama has decided to sue,
So here’s Officer Jackson with a subpoena baby just for you,
Hey mommy come back don’t run cause’ there ain’t a damn thing that you can do,
Hey bitch, you’re getting sued! Woowho!
P.S. Mom, have I told you lately that I really love slacking off in school and you too!
By the by mom, please don’t whoop my ass when we get home, boo hoo boo hoo!”
And last but not least, I would like to send a big ol’ heavenly shout out to the beautiful and talented, Farrah Fawcett with the gorgeous choppers! For an example, check out the famous 70′s poster of Farrah in a red bathing suit which I have included with this blog post. Hey Charlie’s Angel, this heterosexual black girl thinks that you rocked the fucking planet while you were here, you are sorely missed!
P.S. As a former domestic violence victim myself, I want to personally take the time to thank you for your brilliant portrayal of a domestic violence victim in the classic tv movie, The Burning Bed! Because of you, angel, domestic violence was brought out into the open and so much has been done to stop it. Thank you! My only sadness when it comes to you angel is that unfortunately you died on the same day as Michael Jackson and got somewhat lost in the drama. But I just wanted to let you know Farrah that Michael Jackson’s death may have stolen alot of your thunder but to alot of your true fans like me we mourned you vigorously right along with the King of Pop himself! Farrah Fawcett, my favorite Charlie’s Angel, you will forever be missed! God bless you and Michael Jackson! (I am a big fan of his too!) Rest in heavenly peace, babies, rest in heavenly peace!
By the by, I absolutely loved that awesome iconic 70′s hairstyle of yours! It was totally awesome and so are you!
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December 2, 2011 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Apartment, Arithmetic, Asscrack, Bathroom, Begonia, Behind, Bon Bon, Booty, Bus Stop Bench, Butt, Buttcrack, Couple, Crack, Cum, Definition, Depends, Depends Undergarment, Derriere, Diaper, Elderly, Farts, Floor, Foogies, Funny, Garden Hose, Geezer, Goo, Grandpa, Groan, Hilarious, Kinky, Kiss, LOL, Mad, Moan, Old People, P, Phrase, Rub, S&M, Sex, Slang, Sperm, Upset, Word, Words And Phrases, Wrinkles, Younger Generation
(Definition) The phrase depends ridin’ all up (her/his/their) nasty-ass booty crack refers to a kinky-ass elderly person who has a self-punishment fetish and likes to wear a depends undergarment or diaper three sizes too small so that they can get off. After they get off, the old fart really likes to kick up the kink factor by getting really pissed off at the littlest or most insignificant thing that a person or persons of the younger generation does thereby allowing them to get off again. Basically the only way that these dinosaurs can get some satisfaction or have an orgasm is to blow insignificant shit way out of proportion, get pissed off at the younger generation and wear a tight-ass diaper. These bitches are fucking kinky!!!
I will now use this phrase in a couple of sentences to clarify it’s meaning.
“Hey Sean, I told that old bag who lives across the street from us with the depends ridin’ all up her nasty-ass booty crack that if she rats our gang out to the police one more time just because we pissed on her begonia’s we’re gonna’ light her ass up! By the by, dude, why is she french kissing and rubbing that garden hose that way?”
“Did you see the look that that bitch-ass couple from the eternal gardens nursing home gave Barbara just now? Talk about having a depends ridin’ all up their nasty-ass booty cracks! When all that sweet girl, Barbara did was call the health department and report to them that she smelled some dead old people when she walked by apartment 8 yesterday. But dude, after a through investigation from the health department it turned out that there were no dead old people, the health department told us that that godawful stench coming from their apartment was boiled up moldy-ass red cabbage with a shitload of squirrel meat in it. By the by, dude, why are those old geezers moaning and groaning like that on the bus stop bench?”
“Golly dad, I can’t believe grandpa has got a big ol’ depends ridin’ all up his nasty-ass booty crack just because I told him that he had 24 new wrinkles under his left armpit! My math teacher, Mrs. Swinton told me to practice my arithmetic as much as I could when i’m at home and that’s what I am doing. Must I be persecuted in my own home for doing my homework?” By the by, dad, my favorite dude, grandpa left sticky white goo all over the bathroom floor again. Who’s going to clean that shit up?”
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November 30, 2011 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Pop Culture, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged African American Female, Automobile, Bible, Black Girl, Car, Catholic, Caucasian, Cocksucker, Cop, Dictionary, Driver, Funny, Hilarious, Innocent, Italian Priest, LOL, Mary Magdalene, New Word, Pane, Paris Hilton, Passenger, Person, Phrase, Police Humor, Politically Incorrect, Pop Culture, Racist, Racist Cop, Rosary, Shit, Shit Stain, Sippy Cup, Slang, Stain, Thesaurus, Vehicle, Walking, White Woman, Window Pane, Words, Words And Phrases
(Definition) A Pane Stain is an extremely dumb-ass individual who may either be the passenger or the driver of an automobile. At some point during their journey the dumb-ass imbecile actually rolls down one of the automobile’s windows and begins yelling out inappropriate or offensive things to an innocent person or persons walking down the street minding their own damn business as they pass by them.
Usually these cocksuckers or cocksuckerettes, depending on whatever the hell gender they are, are usually accompanied by either their equally moronic-ass friends or lame-ass family members. The sole reason that these cocksuckers or cocksuckerettes engage in such stupid-ass behavior is because in their stupid-ass totally delusional minds they think that this dumb-ass action will make them look cool but in reality it totally backfires on their sorry asses (Case in point, this blog post!) because to the innocent person or persons who were verbally assaulted and to alot of the other people either walking by out on the street or sitting in their automobiles who have also just witnessed this dumb-ass display they look like “why-the-hell-are-you-yelling-out-of-the-damn-window-at-a-total-stranger-ohmigod-what-the-fuck-didn’t-your-parents-or-parol-officers-teach-you-any-goddamn-manners-you-dumb-ass-uncouth-pathetic-ass” shit stain!
I will now use this phrase in a couple of sentences to clarify it’s meaning.
“Hey LaKeesha, it’s Sharonda, girl! Open up that youtube link that I just sent you! Girl, just look at those sixteen racist caucasian cops beating the living shit out of that pimply-ass african american pane stain? God, girl, I just loves me some police brutality and some youtube!”
“Jeepers creepers mom, look at that four year old pane stain with applesauce all up in her nasty-ass matted rat nest hair cussing that sweet little old italian catholic priest the fuck out just because a couple of his flock clocked her juvenile-ass upside the head with a bible, rosary and a big-ass ‘I brake for Mary Magdalene’ sippy cup! Kids, mom, go figure!”
“Nurse will you tell that pane stain cunt slut bitch, Paris Hilton to shut her muff hole! It’s not my fault that the President of the National Organization For Intelligent White Women shoved a big-ass stop sign up her right nostril at their annual rally today. That’s her own damn fault! For pete’s sake, can’t a overpaid middle-aged plastic surgeon who has only killed two people in his lifetime get a decent blow job and nut lick from Amy the dick maker from prosthetics in peace! Jeez, Louise!”
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October 16, 2011 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Dictionary, Funny, Hilarious, LOL, Slang Words, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary, Tina Knowledgeable Peden, Vaseline, Vaseline Petroleum Jelly, Words
(Definition) Ghetto Lipgloss is a slang word for Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. It is often purchased by females and a couple of heterosexual guys who are too broke-ass or cannot afford to buy regular lipgloss or lipstick. It basically does the same thing regular lipgloss does such as providing a little shine and color to the lips but for a fraction of the cost.
I will now use this word in a couple of sentences to clarify its meaning.
“Dina got ghetto lipgloss all over Dean’s brand new nipple ring. Boy was Dean’s mom mad about that! And who can blame her! The woman spent over a thousand dollars on the damn thing!”
“Rosemary said that in addition to using a little ghetto lipgloss on her jacked-up, cracked-ass lips to help alleviate the dryness that she also uses some all up in her dry-ass vagina to help alleviate the dryness there too. P.S. Hey, ya’ll, I ain’t even gonna’ touch that one! Hey, can anybody say sticky fingers!”
“Look at that mom slathering huge gobs of ghetto lipgloss all over that screaming baby’s chaffed bum while fixing herself a big-ass chef salad up at the salad bar. Damn, that bitch is doin’ some serious multi-taskin’! I take my hat off to her ultra-skilled unsanitary ass!”
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October 9, 2011 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Dictionary, Drain the weasel, Phrases, Piss, Slang, Terms, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary, Urinate
(Definition) That glorious hallelujah moment when after holding your urine in for so long that you feel like your bladder is going to explode FINALLY you are able to let the piss flow the hell out of your body and this glorious release gives you such a wonderful feeling of euphoria that the afterglow continues to stay with you many hours after you have drained the weasel or weaselette.
I will now use this phrase in a couple of sentences to clarify its meaning.
“That cute little dalmation over there in the bushes is in pure piss bliss after that long-ass ride in the fire truck.”
“John has been walking around the office in piss bliss ever since his dumb-ass drank those eighteen cups of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts in that four hour board meeting this morning.”
“Dude, look at Pamela jumping around like a damn fool and holding her vajayjay tightly because she doesn’t want to miss a single second of that lame-ass soap opera that she has been watching. Just between us guys, when that shit is over my girl is gonna’ be in piss bliss and guess who’s going to get lucky!”
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October 1, 2011 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Andy Warhol Paintings, Bad Dye Jobs, Bad Hair, Bumblebee, Bumblebee Hair, Dye Jobs, Hair, Hair Dye, Hornet, Hornet's Hair, Marilyn Monroe, Norma Jean Dougherty, Rihanna, Yellow and Black
This is another comedy piece that I wrote for the Rejection Hotline or rhbrands.com back in 2008.
“(Definition) Hornets Hair is a sorry-ass spectacle in which a stupid male or lazy female dyes their hair blonde, but when their black roots grow back, they don’t re-dye them blonde again, LIKE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO! Thus, giving their hair a hornets-like appearance.”
At this time I would like to send a shout out to the most famous hornet’s hair ho, Miss Marilyn Monroe! P.S. Love the dye job, girl!
“I will now use this phrase in a couple of sentences to clarify its meaning.”
“Waitress, i’ve tried and i’ve tried but I can’t seem to get your tacky-lookin’ hornets hair off of my brand new ten thousand dollar Brooks Brothers suit. How will I explain this to my wife and mistress?”
“Hey mom, that lady over there has long hornets hair just like you. Is she a dime-store hooker, too?”
“Chef, we’ve run out of meat for the beef stew perhaps you can put a couple of chunks of your nasty-ass hornets hair in it instead.”
Hey Rihanna, please dye your damn roots!
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October 1, 2011 · Filed under Humor & Funny Things, Tina "Knowledgeable" Peden's Pop Culture Dictionary · Tagged Bob Barker, Dictionary, Funny, Hilarious, Pat Sajak, Pop Culture, Popular Culture, Regis Philbin, Slang, The Price Is Right, Tina Knowledgeable Peden, TKP's Pop Culture Dictionary, Vanna White, Wheel Of Fortune, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Words
(Definition) Full of Shit Game Show Contestant refers to totally bogus male or female who has the nerve to tell the host of a game show that they had a great time on the show after losing a fabulous prize such as a million dollars, a brand new sports car or a trip around the world with a big ol’ pathetic-ass shit eating grin on their face when in fact everybody knows that they are lying their asses off and fooling absolutely noone.
I will now use this phrase in a couple of sentences to clarify its meaning.
“Look boss, isn’t that guy the full of shit game show contestant that we saw on ‘The Price is Right’ yesterday that has screwed more of his co-workers than you and Bob Barker put together? That low-down dirty dog! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”
“I can’t believe Pat Sajak just pissed his pants from laughing so hard just because Vanna White and that full of shit game show contestant got knocked upside the head by three consonants and a vowel on ‘Wheel of Fortune.’ That’s not nice! What if that had happened to you, Pat? Would you be pissing your pants then?”
“Why is that full of shit game show contestant stomping the hell out of that ugly-ass parting gift that Regis Philbin just gave him on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’ Oh god, that is so funny!” P.S. But not as funny as Vanna White and that full of shit game show contestant being knocked upside the head by three consonants and a vowel! Loud-ass snicker!
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