IF THERE IS A BERTIE BOTT’S EVERY FLAVOR BEAN THEN THERE SHOULD BE AN EVERY FLAVOR DEODORANT TOO!


In the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling one of the many tasty treats that were available to Harry, Hermoine, Ron, Draco and the others were Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. The children had their choice of such mouth-watering flavors as earwax, spinach and booger flavored jelly beans. Can anyone say mmm mmm good!

Now I am going to personally make a case for the deodorant community. And it goes a little something like this………
For so long deodorant has been a thing that we human beings just put on our underarms to keep us from stinking but the deodorant community has recently united and loudly announced that it wants so much more! They also want human beings to know that they are extremely pissed off that its power is slowly being taken away by a little monster called “convenience” and they don’t like it!

One example of this being that back in the day deodorant makers always made rough and tough deodorant that you could see. You know that ultra chalky white shit that was so visible to the eye that you couldn’t forget it. The good stuff that ruined alot of clothes that you spent your hard earned money on after only a couple of wearings. To the hardworking deodorant community, those were the days as Edith and Archie Bunker sang so joyfully but today it’s all about that stupid-ass invisible shit! You know that weak-ass shit that disappears as soon as you put it on under your arms and nobody can see it. Deodorant so damn sheer that it doesn’t ruin one inch of your clothing. No brown or black armpit stains, no nothing!

Let me tell you people that the deodorant community has had it with this so called “convenience” and they don’t want to take it anymore! Look, everybody in the world has some kind of job and the old school deodorant is rapidly losing their jobs to these invisible deodorant bozos. Damn deodorant makers! Countless members of the deodorant community are rapidly finding themselves standing in the unemployment line instead of on the grocery store shelf line. And do you think that an unemployment check and food stamps are enough for a good decent middle class deodorant family to live on? Hell no!

The deodorant community is fighting back and demanding that some of those jobs be given back and if they can’t have their old jobs back then they want new ones. So if Bertie Bott’s can make an every flavored jelly bean then deodorant makers can make an every flavored deodorant and put some members of the deodorant community back to work!

Dammit, if Bertie Bott’s can have an earwax flavored bean then by god so can deodorant! Hey deodorant makers, you bitches are missing out on a prime market! Everybody knows that human beings not only want to smell good in a variety of flavors but they also want to taste good too in a variety of flavors! (At this time I would like to give a shout out to all of the kinky people in the world who have edible underwear in their drawers right now! Yeah baby!) Edible underwear and edible deodorant forever!

Let’s face it people, nobody really cares how a deodorant smells only the deodorant makers care about that insignificant shit. What human beings really care about is how a deodorant tastes to the person licking it off of their musty underarms. Case closed and proven by the way!

So people of the world, it’s time that you spoke up and take a side. The right side! The deodorant’s side! Let’s cut the world’s unemployment lines! Vote for edible deodorant that you can not only see but taste! Do it! Do it now!

(POLL QUESTION FOR THIS POST–TELL ME WHICH IS THE ANSWER THAT YOU LIKE BEST!)

In terms of deodorant……….

A. Deodorant makers should keep on screwing the deodorant community by doing exactly what it has been doing! (P.S. I like to see the deodorant community suffering because I am a sadistic pig.)

B. Give the deodorant community anything that they want! (P.S. I’m scared to death of those crazy bitches!)

C. Chocolate deodorant is what the world truly needs!

D. I totally disagree. Booger flavored deodorant is the only way to go!

E. Earwax flavored deodorant is the true king!

F. It’s only deodorant people! Who the hell cares! (P.S. If you think that there should be a booger flavored deodorant on the market you need to have your head examined right away!)

G. Everyone has rights including deodorant! (Hey deodorant, keep your head up, one day you will overcome!)

H. This is the craziest post that I have ever read in my life! (P.S. Maybe the author should have their head examined!)

I. Tina, this post is genius! Please keep on writing more of them! (P.S. I just pissed my pants from laughing so hard!)

J. Deodorant sucks! It’s that simple.

K. I love deodorant! It’s that simple.

L. I’m like Switzerland, i’m neutral and i’m not taking any sides unless some monetary compensation can be arranged. (P.S. By the way, I love bribes!)

M. If all else fails then try PickyDomains.com instead.

3 Responses so far »

  1. 2

    Never considered it that way.

  2. 3

    Its because of stuff like this that I love this site 😀 You guys rock.


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