TIPS ON HOW TO TURN YOUR BORING SEX LIFE FIVE ALARM CHILI HOT!


Lately, have you actually yawned or fallen asleep during sex? Is watching paint dry on a wall more exciting than your sex life? Is “foreplay” a foreign word to you?

If you answered, “yes,” to any of the above questions, it’s time to up the five alarm chili factor in your sex life.

“How do I do that?” some of you out there with boring and not so boring sex lives may ask.

Well, I am here to help you with that.

Before we get started, I am going to warn you that from here on in some of the things that I am going to talk about may make you feel a little uncomfortable or make your temperature rise, because let’s face it, folks, we may be living in the year 2010 but when it comes to sex we might as well still be living in the 1800s because there are still so many taboos when it comes to talking about sex especially boring or bad sex out in the open.

But folks, again let’s face it, if a person wants to really and truly improve their sex life they need to hear straight-forward information about sex no matter how uncomfortable it may make them feel.

And folks, I will promise you this. I was brought up to be a lady and I will try to be as lady-like (and not vulgar) as possible on this subject.

So let’s get started!

To add that five alarm chili factor into our sex lives we often forget one of the most important things which is to go back to basics, honey.

Remember when you were a kid what a great imagination you had? You were bold, you were fearless. Well, to get that five alarm chili factor, you have to get that childhood imagination of yours back and channel it into your adult sex life. Literally!

It’s simple, really.

Tip 1: I Want Candy!

Pay a visit to http://oldtimecandy.com/ asap and try some of the following boring sex busters!

Couples, buy a couple of “candy necklaces,” put them on and whenever you feel like it take “love bites” off of each other’s necklaces. Who knows, you may not only get a few hickeys out of it just like from your teenybopper days but it may also be the inspiration that kicks off a passionate night of hot sex.

Couples, try buying some “licorice ropes” and when your lover least expects it, take them off guard by tying them to the bedpost or a chair and slowly and seductively eat off the candy binding. Fun, fun for the binder and bindee!

For an explosive kiss. couples put 2 or 3 “pop rocks” into your mouth and give your lover one hell of a french kiss! Dynomite!

Ladies, try this foreplay teaser. Before sex, open up the package containing the candy dipping stick (it looks like a long piece of chalk) from the “Lik M Aid Fun Dip Pack” then take out the candy dipping stick. Next, proceed to suckle loudly on the tip of the candy dipping stick alternating between moving it in and out of your mouth. This foreplay teaser is point blank a simulated oral sex act that most men are very familiar with and usually enjoy.

Guys, select your favorite “Pixy Stix” flavor and pour it anywhere on your lover’s body and lick it off. Trust me, it will be one of the best meals that you ever had.

Couples, give your lover a hand job by putting on a “Ring Pop” and pretend that you are a king and a queen wearing a diamond, ruby or emerald and take turns suckling on each other’s candy ring. Don’t forget to kiss each others fingertips and caress your lover’s hand too.

Basically couples, use your imagination, experiment and incorporate candy into your sex life.

Tip 2: Turn Bored Games Into Board Games!

Pay a visit to http://www.hasbro.com/ and try this boring sex buster.

Couples, remember the game, “Twister?” It’s motto was, “The game that ties you up in knots! Spin the dial, then move hands or feet from one colored circle to another!” Remember? So why not play? Shake things up by challenging your lover to a friendly game of Twister and hopefully with all of that laughing, tangled limbs, his booty in your face and your breasts in his face will make the game go from friendly to totally erotic.

Tip 3: Play Dress Up, Baby!

Pay a visit to http://www.victoriassecret.com/ or http://www.electriqueboutique.com/ and try the following boring sex busters.

Couples, buy a costume, whether it be a sexy fireman, demure schoolgirl or something as silly as a big bird costume and boldly parade around your bedroom or hotel room for each other while reciting a dirty limerick, doing the moonwalk, or singing loudly off-key. Do whatever you want in that costume. The important thing is to have fun. And remember couples, having fun can lead to having great sex.

Guys, give your lady a wicked fun treat. Buy a sexy nightgown and a garter, put them on and lay down seductively across your bed. Try hard not to laugh hysterically when your lady comes home to find you dressed in women’s lingerie draped across her bed. And guys, if you can’t find a nightgown that fits you, go to your nearest fabric store and buy a couple of yards of lace in the color of your choice and wrap it around your naked body. Guys improvise and use your imagination in the bedroom for your lady’s pleasure!

Gals, if you are on a budget or strapped for cash, look no further than your own closet to turn your man on. Gals, go to your closet and put on as many layers of clothing as you can then dare your man to take off all of your clothes in a certain time frame such as 2 minutes. If he completes the challenge in the time allotted then reward him with the sexual favor of his choice.

I said it before and I will say it again for the last time, couples, use your imagination, experiment and incorporate playing dress up into your sex life and turn your boring sex life five alarm chili hot!

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