HOW TO STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH A SINGLE WOMAN AT THE LAUNDROMAT!


I originally wrote and posted this article in 2007 but those Google Panda loving bastards at Buzzle.com erased it so I am resurrecting it and putting on my new blog. Enjoy!

Hey guys, have you ever seen a good-looking woman with an empty ring finger washing her clothes at the laundromat and wanted to strike up a conversation with her but didn’t know how to do it?

If the answer is “yes,” continue to read the rest of this article.
If the answer is “no,” then fuck off!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Just kidding!

Guys, in this article, I will give you a couple of tips on how to strike up a conversation with a single woman at the laundromat.

TIP 1: BE A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR!

It is a well known fact that while a person goes to the laundromat to wash their clothes, the irony is that the floor at a laundromat is usually dirty, nasty and disgusting!

So, if you see an article of clothing of a female that you are attracted to (with no visible boyfriend in sight) about to fall on the laundromat’s nasty-ass floor while she is moving it from the washer to the dryer, gallantly run over, dive, leap high in the air, slide or jump over to get it.

By doing this you’ll not only give her a good laugh at your expense and show her how flexible you are (which can come in handy later) but you’ll also save her anywhere from $1.25 (usually for small loads) to $8.00 (usually for large loads) because she won’t have to re-wash or re-dry the article of clothing.

And guys let’s face it, the article of clothing that falls on the floor is usually the woman’s favorite so you are basically saving it from the second most germy floor on the planet.

Boy, oh boy, will a single woman be grateful and ready to talk! Especially about her favorite article of clothing!

TIP 2: SHOW HER THE MONEY!

Guys, always make sure that you have plenty of rolls of currency, i.e. quarters, dimes and nickels just in case a single woman that you are attracted to (with no visible boyfriend in sight) may need to:

-break a ten or twenty dollar bill
-get change from the coin machine but it is broken
-buy a box of tide or other kind of detergent
-risk her life by purchasing stale food out of the vending machines

Guys, after you show her the money, most women will be more than willing to talk to you either because they won’t be out of breath from having to rush around to find a bank, store or restaurant that will give them change or they won’t be pissed off because they had to buy an item that they don’t need like a duck thermometer just so they can get some change for the washer and dryer.

TIP 3: INTRODUCE HER TO A NEW SUPERHERO, THE GERMINATOR!

Carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer or pre-moistened towelettes just in case the woman that you are attracted to (with no visible boyfriend in sight) unfortunately can’t hold it any longer no matter how hard she tries and has no other choice but to use the laundromat’s nasty-ass germ-infested toilet.

Trust me guys, a woman won’t mind talking to you after you save her from coming into contact with a couple of million of Hepatitis A germs!

TIP 4: GIVE HER A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!

Due to the constant running of the washers and dryers in a laundromat, the air is usually hot and dry. So be sure to bring along a couple of hand fans and give one to the woman that you are attracted to (with no visible boyfriend in sight) to keep yourselves cool.

Today, hand fans come in all sorts of designs and are made with unique materials which can be an excellent conversation starter with an artistic, creative or fashion conscious female.

TIP 5: PLAY TWISTER!

Before your next trip to the laundromat, stop by your nearest party supply store and stock up on multi-colored twisting balloons, a balloon pump and a book on how to twist balloons. Bringing along a mouthful of hot air is optional. Practice your “new hobby” in the laundromat. Be sure to blow up a couple of balloons first and it is okay to pop one or two of them to draw attention to yourself.

Remember to consult your “how to twist balloons” book often to give the female that you are attracted to (with no visible boyfriend in sight) an opportunity to come over and help you and to twist some balloons herself.

WARNING: While twisting balloons, in addition to attracting the attention of the female that you are attracted to, you may also attract the attention of children in the laundromat which can be a plus if the woman that you are attracted to has kids.

Guys, always remember the first two lines of John Paul Young’s hit song.
“Love is in the air.”
“Everywhere I look around!”

Guys, it doesn’t matter where you go or where you are, love is always in the air. And it can even be in the air of a hot, dry raunchy smelling laundromat so if you see a good-looking woman with an empty ring finger washing her clothes at the laundromat (with no visible boyfriend in sight) strike up a conversation with her!

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