HEY RITE AID, WHY IS THE BLACK HAIR CARE SECTION ALWAYS IN THE FRONT OF THE STORE?


Hey Rite Aid, I have a question for you and I would really like for you to answer it.

How come you guys always put the black hair care section in the front of the store?

I mean come on people of all races, let’s be honest with each other. There is one fact of life in regards to the Rite Aid chain. Whenever you walk into a Rite Aid Pharmacy pretty much at the end of one of the front aisles is the black hair care section.

Hey Rite Aid, what are you guys trying to say? I mean don’t get me wrong i’m not saying that you’re racist or that there is racism involved. But this is one mystery that I would like solved.

What the heck is going on?

Hey Rite Aid, F.Y.I., Walmart doesn’t do this. No way! Walmart puts the black hair care products usually smack dab in the middle of their stores. I mean they don’t take any chances. If the black hair care products are in the middle of the store nobody is going to say a damn thing or prove anything. They got their corporate butts covered big time!

Those guys sure are some smart mothertruckers!

(At this time I would like to send a shout out to Walmart. You go, corporate boys and girls! Good non racist strategy!)

Uh oh! Sorry, I have to interrupt this story for a breaking event!

The white hair care products in the Rite Aid stores are demanding to be heard! (The white hair care products now have the floor.) The product, Pantene Shampoo, will be speaking for the white hair care products.

“Look, i’m sick of people whining and always sticking up for the black hair care products! What about us white hair care products? Will we ever overcome? At least the black hair care products have a section they can call entirely their own! What do the white hair care products have? Nothing! We have to share a section with every tom dick and harry! I mean don’t get me wrong, I love and respect all races, but damn! Would it be a crime for the white hair care products to have a section of their own too. I thought this was America, land of equality. Why can’t we have the same luxury as the the black hair care section? Why are the white hair care products called racist just because we want a section of our own? That ain’t right! Hey, white hair care products need space! We like to breathe, stretch our bottle legs. White hair care products are fine and upstanding and it’s time we got some glory too! Ya’ll better recognize! Give us a break and give us our own section, Rite Aid!”

“Omigod! Whine, whine, whine, whine! Hey ya’ll, this is the Nintendo Wii from the electronics section along with my boys and girls, the Ortega taco shells from the food section in Rite Aid Pharmacy jackin’ the mic from the whiny white hair care products. Products, it’s my turn to talk so black hair care products and white hair care products, listen up because I got something to say!”

“Remember, it’s better to burn out, than fade away!” (At this time, i would like to send a shout out to the heavy metal band, Def Leppard! Dudes, I just love that line of the song! It totally rocks! Anyhoo, back to the drama.)

“I have been asked to represent for all my brown, red, yellow and other beautiful colors of the racial rainbow. Hey at least the both of you and that includes you white hair care products have separate sections in the Rite Aid stores. What about the rest of us? Our people only have three choices when it comes to hair care at Rite Aid. We can either buy products from the white hair care section or we can buy products from the black hair care section or we can get lost. Thanks alot, Rite Aid! Ya’ll ain’t gettin’ no sympathy from us! We hope the white hair care products keep rippin’ on you! That’s what you get! You guys gotta’ take it up the tailpipe just like the rest of us! Ethnic hair care section, my ass! It’s 2011 and this prejudice is still going on! When are we gonna’ see a hispanic hair care section, an asian hair care section, an indian hair care section and blah, blah, blah, blah! We got rights too, Rite Aid! Where’s the damn band-aid for our pain? Where is it! Rite Aid, you make me sick! (What an oxymoron there!) Anyway, that’s all I have to say. I, Nintendo Wii, am now reliquishing the floor.”

At this time, three products from the black hair care section would like to say a few words. First up, we have Afro Sheen hairspray.

“It’s about damn time! First of all, ya’ll all need to get a damn life! Wake up! Products, the only reason why Rite Aid puts the black hair care section upfront is that they think black people are gonna’ steal us products. Who do they think they’re foolin’! Rite Aid, ya’ll know you’re wrong for that! God, I can’t wait for somebody to buy me so I can get the hell out of here! So damn sick of this place! Rite Aid, you make me sick!”

“Afro Sheen, why don’t you try to calm down.” The Gentle Treatment permanent from the black hair care section gently said. “You’re getting yourself all worked up for nothing. Rite Aid is a nice business and the black hair care section is a nice place to live. I strongly disagree with you. I think Rite Aid loves us very much which is the primary reason why they put us upfront. Rite Aid feels we’re number one and they want to show us that. Hey Afro Sheen, give them a break will ya’. At this time I would like to say that I love you very much Rite Aid! Keep up the good work!”

“Oh, puke!” The Afro Sheen hairspray muttered.

And last but certainly not least, we will hear from the Carefree Jheri Curl Activator from the black hair care section. The floor is yours, sister.

“I’m with the Gentle Treatment permanent on this one, Rite Aid cares about us. They are dynomite! I’m personally glad that Rite Aid puts the black hair care section upfront. F.Y.I. If this place catches fire, i’m gonna’ be the first one the hell outta’ here! It’s all about self preservation baby! There’s no way i’m gonna’ burn baby burn! Let’s face it, everybody knows that Jheri Curl Activator and fire are a lethal combination. Case in point products, Michael Jackson’s pepsi commercial from the 80’s. (Mike, I love your music but I do not want that crap happening to me. I have sensitive skin.) Anyhoo, Rite Aid thank you for putting the black hair care section upfront where we are safe. Rite Aid, you rule!”

(The floor is now closed for comments. I want to thank all the products who expressed their opinions on this matter.)

1 Response so far »

  1. 1

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