10 WAYS HOW NOT TO GO “GREEN” AT WORK!


(Definition) What is the Green Movement – A phrase referring to individual action that a person can consciously take to curb harmful effects on the environment through consumer habits.
SCRIPT TEXT:

“Thank you for calling the Anti-Green Movement Hotline, The 10 Ways How Not To Go Green At Work Edition.”

“The purpose of this hotline is to give people who don’t give a rat’s butt about the environment bogus tips on how to piss off those irritatingly responsible environmental dogooders.”

“Office Energy Waster Tip Number 1: Waste The Hell Out Of Light!”

“Remember, energy wasters, artificial lighting accounts for 44 percent of the electricity use in office buildings so do your part to ruin the environment by making it a habit to turn on all the lights before you leave the office for the day.”

“P.S. This will also kill all the office plants too! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

“Also to really waste some major wattage, plug in a couple of night lights too.”

“Sure I realize that this may be an uncomfortable environment to work in due to all of the heat and brightness coming from all the lights but since nobody will be in the office, who the hell cares!”

“Waste that energy, sucka!”

“And again thank you for calling the Anti-Green Movement Hotline, The 10 Ways How To Not Go Green At Work Edition.”

“P.S. Before we hang up on your energy wasting butt, we here at this hotline would like for you to give yourselves a big round of applause for wasting 45 seconds of precious energy by using your phone to call this hotline! Keep up the good work you “good for nothing” energy waster and have a “nice energy wasting day!”

“Another P.S. Nothing in this script should be taken seriously. It’s for entertainment purposes only.”

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