WHAT’S UP WITH “SENSITIVE” TOOTHPASTE?


“What’s up with all of these toothpaste companies making “sensitive” toothpaste or toothpaste for “sensitive” teeth?”

“I mean can somebody tell me when our teeth became such wimps!”

“Question, if you brush your teeth too hard with “sensitive” toothpaste do you have to apologize to it?”

“I’m sorry”
“So sorry”
“Please accept my apology!”

(At this time I would like to like to send a shout out to kick-ass country pop singer, Brenda Lee! And girlie, I just love that song!)

“Anyhoo, back to the show!”

“Before you use “sensitive” toothpaste do you have to take some kind of sensitivity training so that you don’t offend it?”

“If you use “sensitive” toothpaste how do you get it out of the tube? I mean, I don’t think that you’re allowed to squeeze it because that might be considered too violent a move So what the hell do you do?. Do you have to talk to the “sensitive” toothpaste in a nice soothing voice and hope that it will come out of the tube all by itself?”

“And what if the “sensitive” toothpaste sees you using another brand of toothpaste will it start to cry or flip out on us supermodel Naomi Campbell style? I mean, I know it may sound selfish but I don’t want a big-ass dent in the side of my head from a thrown cellphone! But that’s just me.”

“I mean, can people who have had nervous breakdowns in the past use “sensitive” toothpaste? In other words, can me or Mariah Carey go near it?”

“Oh God will someone please tell me why toothpaste has to be so damn “sensitive” and complicated in the millenium!”

P.S. The Colgate Sensitive Toothpaste Brand just called to let everyone know that it left the building about 15 minutes ago and that it was very hurt that nobody came out to say goodbye to it.

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