HERE IS A POEM THAT I WROTE ESPECIALLY FOR CAT LOVERS AND…. OH YEAH, THOSE PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO MASTERBATE!


And it goes a little something like this!

My cat just caught me masterbating!

Oh, it was so fucking embarrassing and extremely degrading!

I mean, one day I woke up so horny that I didn’t feel like waiting for my boyfriend, John,

So I took out my pink jelly rabbit vibrator and decided to get it the hell on!

I turned on some music then stripped off all of my clothes until I was butt-ass bare,

Then stuck the quivering vibrator into my vagina right below my clit and curly black pubic hair.

After 18 minutes I was in heaven nothing else mattered I didn’t have a care,

But then I heard a noise from over there.

I thought I was alone I slowly looked over in despair.

My cat was sitting on my bedroom windowsill watching me with a disgusted shocked-ass stare!

Oh the injustice of it all, it was not fucking fair!

To be caught by my cat masterbating with my freshly waxed legs thrown high in the air!

I felt so awful so full of shame!

My damn cat caught me when I barely just came!

Unfortunately things between me and my cat will never be the same!

Because I got caught by my cat masterbating to the song, “Give It To Me Baby” courtesy of soul singer Rick James!

By the by, I would like to send a heavenly shout out to the funkmaster himself, Rick James! Rick, I am and always will be a big fan of your music! Rest in peace nasty baby, rest in peace! And this heavenly shout out Rick was sent out up to you from Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden, bitch! That’s right heavenly funkmaster, you’re Rick James, bitch and i’m Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden, bitch!

Also, I love and really miss the Rick James comedy skits that brilliant comedian, Dave Chappelle from the Chappelle Show used to do! They were fantastic!

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