RELAX, PET OWNERS, BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT PETA CALLING YOU A MICROCHIP PIMP WHEN IT COMES TO THIS PROCEDURE!


Last week I was listening to the radio and a commercial from the New Hampshire Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals came on.

No biggie.

Until they mentioned the word, “microchip.”

I thought for sure that they had made a mistake when at the end of the commercial they gave a reminder to pet owners to be sure to not only spay or neuter their pets but to microchip them too.

Again, I was positive that this was some kind of typo until my curiosity got the better of me and I “Googled” the phrase, “microchip your pet.”

People, I was shocked!

Why am I always the last person to know about the latest technology.

I couldn’t believe that a person could do this to their pet.

But they can.

In fact the process is quite simple since the microchip itself is slightly larger than a grain of rice and is placed just under the skin by a veterinarian. Plus, it has an anti-migration cap that helps prevent movement within the pet’s body so basically no matter how hard Lassie or Morris the Cat scratches, the microchip will stay in place.

Cool! Or should I say “wuf, wuf!”

As I was reading more about this subject I discovered that the pros of doing this procedure definitely outweigh the cons.

Below are just a few of the pros:

-This technology can be used in any kind of animal at any age and it will last for their lifetime.

-The procedure is inexpensive meaning you won’t have to shell out stacks of cash to get it done.

-The procedure doesn’t hurt the animal meaning you won’t have PETA throwing paintballs at you thereby ruining your favorite clothing or calling you a “microchip pimp” or something along those lines.

-The microchip is a form of permanent identification meaning it’s difficult to lose or remove.

-Each chip is encoded with a unique and unalterable identification code that can only be activated when read by a scanner.

P.S. Technology can be so cool!

-This procedure was adopted by the American Kennel Club for their Companion Animal Recovery (CAR) program which helps to reunite lost pets with their owners. Basically, after a pet has been microchipped, the ID number is enrolled with CAR who maintains a worldwide enrollment database and a recovery service that works 24-hours-a-day, 365-days-a-year. Shelters and veterinarians throughout the United States use scanners when a lost pet is found. A call to the 800 number of CAR is simple and efficient.

-Helps keep neighborhoods looking tidy due to not having “lost pet” signs all over the damn place.

So pet owners, what are your waiting for?

Do yourself and the neighborhood a favor and take down that tacky-ass “lost pet” sign that you wrote on cardboard with Crayola magic markers.

And go out and get your pets microchipped today before they get lost tomorrow!

Plus, you don’t want any problems with your neighbors.

I mean, what if you are broke-ass one day and run out of sugar.

Who else are you gonna’ borrow it from but your neighbor.

1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Mohamed Salz said,

    PETA and other animal rights groups have successfully galvanized public opposition against celebrities who wear fur, helping to turn the practice into an ethical and fashion taboo. Now the largest animal rights organization in the world has turned its attention to celebrities who endorse the consumption of animal products.-

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