Archive for February, 2012

TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S GREETING CARDS IN A BLOG POST! (GREETING CARD 8)


For all of you fans of Showtime’s hit tv show, Dexter, this greeting card is especially for you!

Greeting Card Name: Dexter…

D ecapitates bodies
E mpowers vigilantes
e X amines blood spatter
T racks other killers
E ndangered his wife
R ita!

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WHENEVER YOU NEED A GOOD LAUGH, TRY THIS WEBSITE!


Hey guys, are you feeling down?

Hey gals, are your spirits low?

If so, pay a visit to the following website below and get your laughter on!

And as Heath Ledger’s awesome character, The Joker in the hit movie, The Dark Knight would say, “And here we go!”

To view the website please click on “I seriously need a good laugh!”

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TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S GREETING CARD’S IN A BLOG POST! (GREETING CARD 7)


Greeting Card Name: The Christian Golfer’s Creed!

E aster
G od
G olf
S eason!

HAPPY EASTER!

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LOVEMAKING & FIGHTING GO TOGETHER LIKE PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY AND COLIN & CHRISTIE!


Guys, surprise your date with a “knockout” evening that she won’t forget!

First, pop in the five DVD disc set of the emmy award-winning reality tv show, The Amazing Race Season 5 to watch the show’s most competitive couple, Colin and Christie, duke it out on practically every episode of the season.

Make “love bets” on how long Colin and Christie can go without fighting.

For example: Gals, offer to give him a “hand” job if they can stop fighting for 2 minutes. Guys, if it turns out they had a fight 40 seconds later, not 2 minutes later like she said, make her do some “love work” for you like giving you a nice back rub.

Next guys, surprise the hell out of her by starting a “small argument” with her over something so trivial and stupid.

Example: Have a hissy fit over the fact that she turned the volume of the tv up too loud and it hurt your ears. Guys, really pretend to get worked-up over the trivial thing.

Once she starts getting worked-up herself, yank her into your arms and silence her words with hot, wet kisses.

Proceed to make love on whatever surface you desire while the soothing sounds of Colin and Christie’s fighting fills the air.

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IN THIS ULTRA POLITICALLY CORRECT WORLD, I’M SURPRISED THAT THE SONG, “MONEY FOR NOTHING” BY DIRE STRAITS STILL GETS AIRPLAY!


Last night I was listening to the radio while I was preparing to go out to dinner with some friends when the 80’s song, Money For Nothing by Dire Straits came on and naturally I began to sing along because I really like the song and I love the video! Anyhoo, I hadn’t heard the song or seen the video for a really long time so when a particular verse of the song began to play I found myself momentarily shocked. Here’s the verse that I am referring to:

“See the little faggot with the earring and the make-up
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he’s millionaire”

After hearing this verse, I got to wondering how in our ultra politically correctness millenium world how this song still gets airplay.

Now don’t get me wrong, I really like the song and I really loved the video back in the day when MTV actually played music videos and actual music. (Sorry, Jersey Shore!) But usually songs with any derogatory or what some people might call hateful, offensive or homophobic lyrics (For example check out basically any song recorded on rapper, Eminem’s second album, The Marshall Mathers LP) are usually either banned from the radio asap, the offensive lyric taken out or someone does a voiceover over the offensive lyric replacing it with a more politically correct one.

Which is exactly why i’m very surprised that noone has made a big stink about this one particular verse being hate speech or something like that because people let’s face it, even though i’m not 100% sure but i’m fairly certain that “the faggot with the earring and the make-up” that Mark Knopfler is referring to is probably a wealthy gay male who dresses eccentricly. So that led me to do some serious thinking and here are a few conclusions that I came up with regarding the lyric in question.

1. Although a derogatory word was used in the song, maybe since the song was recorded in the 80’s before political correctness invaded every corner of our universe people and radio stations across the land just let the derogatory word slide and just took the song at face value for what it truly is. A kick-ass song with one of the best guitar riffs ever! (To be honest, even I have to admit that when the song first came out in the 80’s when I was a teenager I didn’t bat one eyelash to the “faggot” reference.)

2. Maybe the rock group, Dire Straits meant the term “faggot” in a completely innocent way. After all the song was recorded back in the 80’s, a much more innocent and simpler time than now.

3. Maybe the rock group, Dire Straits did in fact know that the word, “faggot” was offensive and derogatory but simply didn’t give a shit and decided that they were going to write a song containing any words that they wanted and to hell with everybody else!

4. Maybe the rock group, Dire Straits knew that like sex, controversy also sell alot of records too so they intentionally put the “faggot” lyric in to increase their sales.

Well, whatever the hell the reason, only the members of the rock group, Dire Straits know the answer.

However, if Mark Knopfler or any other member of the rock group, Dire Straits ever happen to come across this blog post, please let us know the reasoning behind the “faggot” lyric. We really want to know!

Below are the lyrics to the song, Money For Nothing by Dire Straits.

Now look at them yo-yo’s that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV’s

See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he’s a millionaire

We gotta install microwave ovesns
Custom kitchens deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV’s

I shoulda learned to play the guitar
I shoulda learned to play them drums
Look at that mama, she got it stickin’ in the camera
Man we could have some fun
And he’s up there, what’s that? Hawaiian noises?
Bangin’ on the bongoes like a chimpanzee
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Get your money for nothin’ get your chicks for free

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV’s, Lord

Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free

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TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S RESTAURANT TIPS! (TIP 2)


Every restaurateur should consider using address labels because they have so many unique uses in the culinary world. For example an address label can be cut into small strips and used to wax the hair off of the hands or arms of a hairy chef, they can also be put over the mouth to silence those “extremely annoying constantly complaining about the food” customers, they can also be placed around your cooking area to catch those pesky flies and gnats that always seem to appear when you have fresh fruit out in the open and oh yeah, they can also be used on your business mail too.

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HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY: HEY, BARKEEP! ARE YOU THE NEXT SAM “MAYDAY” MALONE? IF SO, “CHEERS” TO YOU!


Hey Barkeep, do you want to be the next Sam “Mayday” Malone? If so, here are the requirements:

1. You must be a single good-looking man

2. Who drives a corvette

3. Has a neurotic and uptight ex-girlfriend named Diane

4. Only hires waitresses that are petite and rude

5. Has a lame-ass friend who is a mailman

6. Has a kick-ass friend who doesn’t have a steady job and
drinks alot of beer

7. Has a daybed in his office at the bar
for his afternoon trysts with any good-looking woman with
a pulse

8. Once was a major league baseball player

9. Who had an alcohol problem but is sober now

10. And currently has a huge bald spot in the back of the head which
is covered with a toupee

TO ALL OF YOU NEW-FANGLED SAM “MAYDAY” MALONE’S OUT THERE, I WANT TO SAY “CHEERS” AND GOOD LUCK BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOME PRETTY BIG SHOES TO FILL, WEAR A CONDOM TO PROTECT YOURSELVES FROM STD’S AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST RUN LIKE HELL IF YOU SEE A CHICK WHO LOOKS LIKE DIANE CHAMBERS/SHELLEY LONG COMING TOWARDS YOU AND ALSO HAVE A VERY HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY! CHEERS!

P.S. To all of you Sam “Mayday” Malone hounds out there, you might also want to take a trip to Boston to see the pub that inspired the hit series, “Cheers” and created an 80’s television legend. For more info, click on Cheers Boston.

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