HEY WORDPRESS, WILL YOU PLEASE LET US BLOGGERS SET OUR OWN DAMN GOALS! WHAT ARE WE, BABIES?


(Here’s a little humor piece dedicated to all of you hardworking WordPress bloggers and bloggettes out there. I hope that all of you enjoy it and it brings a little laughter into your hectic day.)

WordPress, it’s fuckin’ creepy!

And I don’t mean just ordinary run of the mill creepy, I mean, Anthony Perkins slices and dices the beautiful and talented Janet Leigh in the Bates Motel shower Psycho creepy!

Hey WordPress Bloggers and Bloggettes, have you ever noticed that when you have posted 100 blog posts on your blog, or perhaps less, afterwards you start getting an update from the WordPress Goal Meter on your progress?

For example, after you have uploaded your latest post you will see a message afterwards saying something along the lines of “Congratulations! You have just posted your 100th blog post on WordPress!” Then off to the left side of your computer, the WordPress Goal Meter will say something like “4 posts to go 105 blog posts!” And once you have completed your 105th blog post, the WordPress Goal Meter will say something along the lines of “Congratulations! You have reached your goal of 105 blog posts!” Then the WordPress Goal Meter will then say something like “New Goal: 5 posts to go to 110 blog posts!”

I mean, WTF?

And why does the WordPress Goal Meter only measures a WordPress Blogger’s blog posting goals in blocks of five? I mean what’s up with that shit? (That’s numeric discrimination, buddy!)

WordPress, you guys and dolls, know that I love you but I have something to say to your WordPress Goal Meter.

Hey buddy, butt out!

Let us WordPress Bloggers set our own damn goals! I mean what are we, babies!

And WordPress Goal Meter, what if we bloggers don’t want to set our blog posting goals in blocks of five what if we want to set them in blocks of 2 or blocks of 7 or simply don’t want to set blog posting goals at all. Don’t we have that right? Hey WordPress Goal Meter, haven’t you ever heard of the constitution buddy?

WordPress Goal Meter please do us WordPress Bloggers a favor and seek some psychiatric help for your “God Complex” because buddy you sure need it!

And another thing WordPress Goal Meter, who the hell even asked for your help anyway? I mean, did you get a phone call from WordPress Blogger, Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden asking you to set blog posting goals for me? I think not, buddy!

I mean dude, what am I, 9 years old? WordPress Goal Meter, i’ll have you know that I am a 43 year old woman who pays her own bills and takes care of her responsibilities and obligations and I really don’t need you buttin’ in and telling me what my goals in life should be!

How dare you!

WordPress Goal Meter, I don’t know you! In the future I might suggest that you at least introduce yourself to WordPress Bloggers and get to know them for awhile before you start trying to run their lives like setting goals for them that you think they should complete! Hey that’s just common sense right there, buddy!

WordPress Goal Meter, let me break it down to you, YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY, MY DADDY, A RELATIVE, A FRIEND, A CHILD OF MINE, A BOYFRIEND, ONE OF MY FORMER GRADE SCHOOL TEACHERS OR MY HUSBAND! WordPress Goal Meter, there ain’t no ring of yours on my finger, buddy!

Hell dude you ain’t even a one-night stand and you’re trying to tell me what to do! WordPress Goal Meter in the immortal words of kick-ass pop singer, Janet Jackson, sexually, “What Have You Done For Me Lately?” And my response to that is, “Not a damn thing!” So butt out, buddy!

In closing, in the future WordPress Goal Meter, I would really appreciate it if you would let me WordPress Blogger, Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden set my own goals. I think that I have earned that right.

After all, this is the United States of America, land of free will! WordPress Goal Meter instead of buttin’ into the lives of WordPress Bloggers try taking up a hobby or something like tennis or needlepoint.

In essense, get a life of your own WordPress Goal Meter!

Gee whiz!

6 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    This is my first time visit at here and i am truly happy to read
    all at single place.

  2. 2

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  3. 3

    Спасибо, хорошая статья. Подписался.

  4. 4

    Good tip for any a single looking to structure a site with ad generating revenue!

  5. 5

    Только вчера об этом думал, так что пост как нельзя в тему!

  6. 6

    Думается, если долго стараться, даже самую сложную мысль можно так подробно раскрыть.


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