LATELY I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE BIG “M” ISSUE……….


I can’t remember what exactly triggered the memory but as I was doing the dishes two days ago, I thought of something that I haven’t for a long time.

About ten years ago when I had delusions of stand up comedic grandeur I went to a talent agency in Omaha. At that time folks I was living in Des Moines Iowa and Omaha Nebraska back then to me was the Los Angeles California of the Midwest.

Anyhoo when I went to this talent agency in Omaha that I immediately noticed was run by a lack luster Richard Belzer knockoff instead of this clone asking me important comedian things like for instance to deliver a short monologue or if I had racked up any stage time all this idiot seemed to harp on about was that I was not wearing any makeup and if the truth be told I was totally shocked! And as you probably can surmise, I kicked this sorry-ass loser to the curb along with the rest of the garbage. And I also abandoned all thoughts of being a professional stand up comedian opting instead to be a writer who specializes in comedy writing.

And to make a long story short, I hope, over the past two days this incident that happened so long ago has gotten me to thinking about the big “M” issue and for those committment phobic guys who weren’t paying attention in the previous three paragraphs of this blog post, don’t get scared and run away because when I refer to the big “M” issue I am not talking about marriage but rather something just as important to the female society of America and that issue is makeup. And more specifically, whether to wear it or not to wear it.

In my case I choose not to wear makeup and it still surprises me that even today some people think that this is a serious crime. I mean no where in the American female handbook says that to be a real woman you have to wear makeup.

In regards to performing on the stage or on film I of course know that wearing makeup can help a person to look their absolute best, transform them into a different person or bolster their self esteem. But in my case and alot of other women’s cases these things simply doesn’t apply. In fact it is the total opposite for me. Wearing makeup totally lowers my self confidence because I am constantly worried about how long it will take the makeup to run and look streaky due to my extremely oily and blemish prone skin. And that is the primary reason why I have kicked makeup to the curb along with the rest of the garbage.

Even though it was absolutely none of the lack luster Richard Belzer knockoff talent agency owner’s business why I was not wearing makeup all of these years later I deeply regret not showing some backbone by telling him the reason why I was not wearing makeup plus I also regret not telling him a few other things as well, such as…………..

Does makeup have some special magical powers that I don’t know about such as delivering a perfect monologue for you on stage?

Will makeup protect your feelings and pride from cruel insults from hecklers?

Will makeup itself turn you into a superstar comedian like Richard Pryor or Jerry Seinfeld?

And folks, we all know the answers to these questions. I’m just hoping that the lack luster Richard Belzer knockoff talent agency owner in Omaha will some day know it too and focus on more important things from potential clients like talent and skill and not superficial things like whether or not a person is wearing makeup.

You know folks, saying your peace really can make you feel a whole lot better even after ten years.

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