Archive for Poems

ROCK N’ ROLL IS MY FASHION!


-Leather pants crotch perspire,
-Hell no punk we won’t hire,
-Boy, you a girl with that long-ass hair,
-Dude, screw you, I do what I want, I don’t care,

-Cause’ rock n’ roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna’ be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That’s why I will always love rock n’ roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, 
-And don’t forget the almighty stripper pole! 

-Guitar lessons electric guitar,
-Beautiful women expensive car,
-Love rocking out with my cock out on stage with many a fan,
-Screw concussion from getting hit in head with beer can,

To read more of my words please click on Rock n’ Roll is my Fashion!

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WHAT HOURS DO YOU SELL BOOZE?


Sorry, I don’t know what hours we sell liquor maam,
When I heard those words I thought really goddamn,
Cause’ if I was any kind of a store employee,
That is the first thing for certain I would know baby,
For me, for a store to be legit,
They better know what hours they sell their 50 proof shit,
I mean one of the best perks of the damn job,
For any hardworking minimum wage paid store slob,
Would be after work Miller time, hey, and a shot of Jim Beam,
And if this customer comes after hours and can’t buy hootch i’m gonna’ scream,
And if this customer calls for the hours and gets transferred alot cause’ you don’t know,
You better believe i’m gonna’ be pissed and tell your ass where to go,
So 7-Eleven, CVS, Walmart and all other stores regarding training, do your damn job,
You so-called friendly convenience corporations before your confronted by an angry mob,
And first have your employees memorize what hours your store sells the liquor at,
And this Sherlock Holmes will find it in any store aisle less than a minute flat,
Baby, I promise you that!

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JESUS’ FROSTED FEET & HIS HOT CROSS BUNS! (A POEM BY TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN)


Here is a poem that I wrote for the upcoming Christmas season. Enjoy!

Thank you Jesus Christ for the
hot cross buns this Christmas
they simply can’t be beat!

And to worship, praise and
thank you for your sacrifice
I kiss the bottom of the
vanilla frosting cross on the
hot cross bun as if it were
your precious feet.

It’s the least that I can do
for you every Christmas for
being the inspiration behind
the ultimate religious sweet
before I eat.

Merry Christmas and Happy
New Year to you Jesus Christ
who I hope one day to meet
in heaven and personally
thank for many years of feasting
on this delightful holiday
spiced treat!

Hey Jesus Christ & Hot Cross Buns
you both rule the earth and
are both super neat!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY IS …


Get your “Happy Birthday is …” gifts here!

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THANKSGIVING SNOW, PLEASE JUST GO! (A POEM BY TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN)


Here is a poem that I wrote for the upcoming Thanksgiving/Christmas season.  Enjoy!

Hey snow on Thanksgiving, whoa!
You’re pretty but not yet, no!
I’m just not ready for it, oh please no!
No offense Thanksgiving snow but I
got things to do, I really gotta’ go!
For instance, going to Black Friday
sales where I can save a bunch of dough.
Christmas Tree selecting while I guzzle
down a nice hot cup of joe.
Which is why rain, sleet and especially
snow, you all gotta’ go!
I’m sorry but I don’t want to have to pay
to get my car a tow!
Or wait an hour for the snow on the streets to
get a mow!
I got ants in my pants and I really gotta’ go!
So snow on Thanksgiving Day heck no!
Hey snow be my friend not my foe!
And please please please just go!
Happy Thanksgiving not Merry Christmas
ho, ho, ho meaning no snow!
Snow on Thanksgiving Day is just plain low!
I mean am I reaping what I sow?
I mean I don’t think so.
Okay Thanksgiving snow, listen up because I
have a bribe for you, yo.
Please please please go and i’ll buy you a
nice Christmas present all wrapped up and
topped with a cherry-shaped bow!
Thanksgiving snow, please just go!

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“OH CHRIST, I GOT BABY FEVER!” A SONG AND PRAYER WRITTEN BY TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN!


Hey since retailers start selling Christmas merchandise so early anyway I decided to jump on their bandwagon and do a revamping of a song that I wrote back in January 2012.  Enjoy and have yourself an early Merry Christmas! And Happy Early Birthday, Jesus!

This song can either be performed in the spoken word or it can be sung.

Verse 1:

Hey mom, gross, I really hate this chicken croquette,

I can’t eat this crap if i’m going to be a Radio City Music Hall Rockette,

Just you wait and see mama i’m gonna’ be the best dancer on that stage yet,

With the best-looking gams in the whole wide world, a perfect high-kicking set,

Oh mom will you please give me a break and quit harpin’ on my lousy ettiquette,

Mom, I really do love ya’ but you are the lamest chick that I have ever met!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until i’m a mommy!

To put it simply, Lord, I want a baby!

Verse 2:

Hey dad, I really love this corndog on a stick,

But I can’t have too many of them if i’m gonna’ be a New York Knick,

Just you wait and see papa i’m gonna’ be selected first round draft pick,

With the best darn jump shot in the league cause’ my skills are seriously sick,

Oh dad, will you please give me a break i’m not a stamp that needs a lick,

Dad, I really love ya’ but there are plenty of ballplayers like me with a stubborn cowlick,

So leave my hair alone and stop crying those totally lame proud parent tears like really quick!

They are sooo gross, I mean really dad, ick!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A paternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until i’m a daddy!

To put it simply, Lord, I want a baby!

Verse 3:

Bottles and booties all over the place, everywhere,

Many sleepless nights and wild-looking disheveled hair,

I’m not talking to you dad cause’ i’m grounded glued to this rotten chair,

Young man, i’m only doing this so you’ll be morally-rounded cause’ I care,

Baby shake rattle, baby shake rattle, baby shake rattle, in the air,

Kids bedtime, this as a loving but tired father, I do happily declare!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A paternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until i’m a daddy!

To put it simply, Lord, I want a baby!

Verse 4:

My biological clock is going tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, there’s no escape,

I have a dream of reading aloud to my kids “Hickory Dickory Dock” and tales of “Grape Ape,”

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded dvd and many a videotape,

Merry Christmas mommy, how do I look all dressed up as a shepherd in my big brother’s old white cape,

Tears come to my eyes as I watch my child in the Christmas pageant up on the stage with my mouth totally agape,

How in the world Carmen Sandiego did he get all of that scotch tape to stay up around his nape, my oh my, what a cool drape!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until i’m a mommy!

To put it simply, Lord, I want a baby!

Verse 5:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let’s make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this my dear,

So lover, take me in your arms and let’s start this baby-making party off with a kiss that will scorch and sear,

Hey big boy, I want you to know that I love you and there’s no pressure here,

But the only thing that I want for Christmas is to have your baby by the end of next year!

Cheers!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a cradle with a beautiful baby in it, skinny or fat,

A maternal and paternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until we’re a mommy and daddy!

To put it simply, Lord, we want a baby!

Verse 6:

It’s nice to know that us humans on earth are not alone and that we are all truly God’s children through and through,

Because one day over two thousand years ago God himself had a major case of baby fever too,

He chose Mary to be the mother of his baby and Joseph to watch over them even though to what was going on neither of them really didn’t have a clue,

But they both loved and trusted God so they let this guide them and their hearts also told them that this unusual miraculous request was the right thing to do,

And on Christmas Day a long time ago a baby boy named Jesus was born in a stable in Bethlehem wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger that was far from new,

Shepherds and wise men from different places all over the world traveled to Bethlehem to praise this new king, bring him gifts and to see if this wonderful miracle was really true,

But in their heart of hearts they already knew that Jesus the Saviour, their king, was born for one and all, expressly for me and you,

So today and every year we celebrate his birthday, Christmas Day,  at different places all over the world because he is the one thing that unites us all together, he is our special spiritual glue!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS, WE LOVE YOU!

AND GOD WE ALSO LOVE YOU VERY MUCH TOO!

THANK YOU FOR HAVING A MAJOR CASE OF BABY FEVER UP IN HEAVEN JUST LIKE US HUMANS ON EARTH DO!

Chorus:

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and there’s only one cure,

Johnson’s Baby Shampoo almost 100% pure,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a big ol’ dose of “Cat in the Hat,”

No green eggs or ham or Jack Sprat,

Just a manger with a beautiful baby boy in it, skinny or fat,

An almighty paternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And Christ, it will never stop until a God like me is a daddy!

To put it simply, Lord, and I know that I am talking to myself, I, the Lord Almighty want a baby!

It’s time for even me to be a daddy!

Prayer:

Oh Lord in heaven, give me strength, please help me,

Cause’ I know at times i’m gonna’ have my work cut out for me,

I know that being a good mama or papa ain’t always gonna’ be easy,

But I don’t care, that part doesn’t even bother or faze me,

Cause’ i’ll happily take on this parental challenge given unto thee,

Lord, this christian soldier is oh so ready to raise a good loving family,

One that will offer up love and praise to you everyday faithfully,

Oh Christ, I got baby fever and their’s only one cure,

A beautiful living legacy created by me for you that will forever endure!

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TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN’S GREETING CARDS IN A BLOG POST! (GREETING CARD 10) HERE IS A SPECIAL FOURTH OF JULY HOLIDAY GREETING CARD FOR LOVERS ONLY!


This is a greeting card that a woman can give to a man on the Fourth of July Holiday to really starts some fireworks in the bedroom, on the kitchen floor or in your local Burger King bathroom!

My CandyCoated Wet Dreams Are……….

POP ROCKS exploding in my warm moist mouth!

Me sucking juicy RING POPS long, hard and bone dry!

Me tying LICORICE ROPES firmly and prettily around a certain gentlemen’s large throbbing package!

And lover, do you want to know what all of this sweet talkin’ reminds me of?

YOUR BIG DICK, BABY!

(As if you already didn’t know you smug cocksucker!)

Anyhoo……….

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY MY DEAR HOT COMBUSTIBLE FIRECRACKER!

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