Archive for Questions/Trivia

QUESTIONS POP CULTURE STYLE!


-Why do people who call themselves fashion experts always dress so badly?
-Why is it that even when you are careful you still spill stuff on your clean clothes?
-Why does the mailman always deliver important packages to you when you are gone?
-Why do parents say “i’m doing this because I love you” right before they punish you?
-Why is it that when you really want a cold drink there is only one ice cube in the ice tray?
-Why is it that whenever you are watching something good on tv the phone rings?
-Why is it that when you have to poop in a public place someone is always around?
-Why must Hollywood remake kick-ass old movies into crappy-ass bad ones? 

-Hmmm,
-Question, questions in my mind,
-I sometimes ponder them all the time,
-Seeking ways on how to solve them,
-But if I cant, no biggie, no real sin,
-But if I can, I really do feel that I win,
-So bring it on questions, i’m smart, kingpin,
-Perplextion to reflection, questions, let the mind games begin! 

-Why does your menstrual period always come down when you are wearing white clothing? 
-Why can’t there be more clever word play in songs like “Don’t it make my brown eyes blue?” 
-Why didn’t any of the skanks on Sex and the City get HIV as much as they screwed around? 
-Why do kids prefer a flat-ass McDonald’s hamburger to a big-ass hamburger made by their mom? 
-Why do killers in tv shows and movies always walk slowly while the victim hauls serious ass?  
-Why is it that people like Rob Kardashian with business degrees can’t get a real job? 
-Why do cats lick their nasty-ass saliva all over their bodies then declare themselves to be clean? 
-Why does the biggest Christmas shopping day of the year keep getting pushed forward? 

Leave a comment »

WHAT HOURS DO YOU SELL BOOZE?


Sorry, I don’t know what hours we sell liquor maam,
When I heard those words I thought really goddamn,
Cause’ if I was any kind of a store employee,
That is the first thing for certain I would know baby,
For me, for a store to be legit,
They better know what hours they sell their 50 proof shit,
I mean one of the best perks of the damn job,
For any hardworking minimum wage paid store slob,
Would be after work Miller time, hey, and a shot of Jim Beam,
And if this customer comes after hours and can’t buy hootch i’m gonna’ scream,
And if this customer calls for the hours and gets transferred alot cause’ you don’t know,
You better believe i’m gonna’ be pissed and tell your ass where to go,
So 7-Eleven, CVS, Walmart and all other stores regarding training, do your damn job,
You so-called friendly convenience corporations before your confronted by an angry mob,
And first have your employees memorize what hours your store sells the liquor at,
And this Sherlock Holmes will find it in any store aisle less than a minute flat,
Baby, I promise you that!

Leave a comment »

I KNOW THAT IT’S BEEN SAID MANY MANY TIMES BUT I’LL SAY IT AGAIN, THE NEW YAHOO EMAIL STINKS!


Yahoo, how could you!

Why did you have to replace the uber-fantastic classic Yahoo Mail with the ultra-shitty new Yahoo Mail?

It totally stinks!

And why do you feel the need to trick your customers who have and love classic Yahoo Mail into switching to the new stinky Yahoo Mail by any means necessary!

Bait and switch, Yahoo, that ain’t right!

Yahoo, why won’t you let those customers who don’t like the new Yahoo Mail switch back to the old but totally kick-ass classic Yahoo Mail if they want to?

Yahoo, haven’t you bitches and bastards ever heard of a democracy?

Obviously not because if you did I wouldn’t have written this blog post trashing your icky new email system.

Yahoo, I want you consider this.

Most people in life don’t want to eat vanilla ice cream all of their lives!

They want fucking variety like chocolate, butter pecan and cherry garcia!

Hey Yahoo, I hope you faux-genuises get the hint of this blog post!

Comments (1) »

ANGELINA, ADULTERY, ANGELINA, MASTECTOMY, ANGELINA, FREE PASS?


Recently actress, Angelina Jolie has come out to the public about having a preventive double mastectomy after learning that she carries a mutation of the BRCA1 gene which sharply increases her risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

In my opinion, I think that she did a wonderful thing!

Because of her worldwide celebrity and her being a mother to many children, I have noticed that more women are not only talking about this uncomfortable and serious subject but they are also doing more research on the BRCA1 gene and learning that they have early options.  And Angelina Jolie should be applauded for this.  And so many individuals have been doing just that including many celebrities and bloggers.

HOWEVER ……….

I have also noticed something else since Angelina Jolie recently came out and that something is hypocrisy.

Just a few years ago, some of the same bloggers and celebrities who are currently singing Angelina’s praises like she is the most perfect human being on earth were also trashing the hell out of her then nasty-ass for not only committing adultery with then very married mega-stud movie actor, Brad Pitt while filming the movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith but for also not coming clean and telling the truth to the world that they actually had an affair and for not apologizing to Miss Apple Pie America, Jennifer Aniston, Pitt’s former wife.

(P.S.    Hey Angelina and Brad, couldn’t you two at least have take a tattered musty-ass page out of the LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian adultery playbook and apologize and keep talking and singing songs about your affair until people are so fed up with hearing you talk and write songs about your affair that they literally want to blow their brains out at the mere mention of it?)

Anyhoo, back to the uncomfortable issue at hand which is:

When a celebrity gets cancer or any other potentially bad or fatal disease does this wipe out or grant them a free pass for all of the shitty things that they have done in the past? (i.e.    In Angelina Jolie’s case, having a sexual affair with a married man.)

Hmmm, just wondering.

Leave a comment »

WOULD PRESIDENT OBAMA WANT MALIA AND SASHA TO TAKE THE PURITY PLEDGE?


I recently watched an episode of the tv news/entertainment show, Inside Edition where they did a feature story on Purity Balls.

And for those of you out there thinking that Inside Edition did a story on males with squeaky clean testicles, your dead wrong!

A Purity Ball is a formal party that is thrown where young girls wearing beautiful white ball gowns make a solemn vow to their fathers wearing black or white tie to abstain from having sex until they are married.

And folks, they are becoming more and more popular! Go figure!

Here are a few thoughts that I have on Purity Balls:

– In terms of teenage girls abstaining from sex until they’re hitched, i’m all for it because let’s face it a girl only gets to be young once in her life and for me that means going to college, traveling to different places and doing fun things without the encumbrances of adult life, i.e taking care of a constantly crying newborn baby when the girl who just gave birth to this baby is practically a baby herself!

– But in terms of Purity Balls when it comes to me personally I have to honestly say that I could never make such a solemn vow to abstain from sex until marriage because to me one of the most important parts of a healthy lasting relationship is good sex. It is an absolute requirement that I be sexually compatible with my man and for me the worst Purity Ball fear is that if I waited until after I was married to have sex with my man and found out that he was lousy in bed could I stay with this person forever knowing this no matter how much I loved him. Folks, i’m a person who likes to know exactly what I am getting when I buy or invest in something. I mean don’t get me wrong I like surprises every once in a while but in terms of the Purity Ball thing, no freakin’ way!

–  So in terms of Purity Balls not being the right thing for me personally i’m glad that they are the right thing for alot of other people out there especially teenage girls. And I hope to see more young girls making that solemn vow to abstain from sex until marriage and I really hope to see Purity Balls with young teenage males and their mothers making that solemn vow too!

– And last but not least,  no offense,  Purity Balls and people who participate in them are also a tad bit creepy to me.

P.S.     Although I applaud the general theory of the Purity Ball, I ain’t gonna’ lie and say that there is a little part of me that totally delights in a girl who thinks that she is better and more god fearing than you and has sworn up and down that she will not have sex until she’s married only to get knocked up and busted a short time later for being a total fraud and hypocrite.

Leave a comment »

EXACTLY HOW SHOULD A PERSON OF ANY RACE OR GENDER SING THE ULTRA-PATRIOTIC AMERICAN ANTHEM, THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER?


With the Christmas/New Year’s holiday season making me feel oh so grateful and happy for what I currently have, I also find myself thinking back to holiday’s past when things were not so great and today I remembered something unusual that occurred during the Christmas/New Year’s holiday four years ago back in 2008.

Four years ago during the Christmas/New Year’s holiday when I was staying at one of the better homeless shelters in New Hampshire (One that was super clean, didn’t allow intoxication or theft of any kind, had plenty of good food, had less than a handful of the employees stealing only 10% of the donations that came in for the residents and one that let you stay in the shelter all day long just as long as you weren’t sleeping and didn’t kick your ass out between the hours of 9:00 am – 5:00 pm with no place to go other than the library even in the freezing cold) one night at about 8:00 pm I went down to the lower level of the shelter to clean the bathroom which was my assigned chore for that day.

Sitting in the living room area of the lower level on the couch were two nice White guys in their 50’s named Jerry and Dan. All through the day the two men were talking about some football game that they were dying to watch later that night so not wanting to disturb them I dragged my cleaning supplies with me as quietly as I could in the direction of the bathroom that I had been assigned to clean but as I passed the two men they turned their attention away from the tv and started chatting with me and I happily obliged after taking a quick peek at the tv and seeing that the game had not formally started yet.

Anyhoo, as we were all talking, all of a sudden the song, The Star Spangled Banner started to play and both men quickly but nicely shushed me. I instantly became quiet. Dan, even rose to his feet and placed his hand over his heart. After the song was finished, Jerry startled the hell out of me when he said, “I hate it when they do that!” in a voice filled with extreme irritation. “Do what?” I quickly asked perplexed. “Sing The Star Spangled Banner like that.” he replied, extreme irritation still visible in his voice and now on his slightly flushed face.

And yet again I was perplexed because the plump Black woman who had just finished singing the song in my opinion had done a great job singing the American anthem, whoever the hell she was. So, I didn’t understand what Jerry meant. Jerry obviously seeing that I had no clue about what the hell he was talking about quickly and vehemently clued me in fast. “You’re not supposed to sing The Star Spangled Banner like that. The song is supposed to be sung plain and simple! No theatrics!” he said, still extremely irritated and flushed.

After Jerry said his peace I then immediately understood what he was talking about. It was clear that Jerry was upset that the Black woman had done a very soulful rendition of The Star Spangled Banner and it was oh so obvious that Jerry didn’t like that one little bit. After a few seconds of taking this in, I immediately thought that was ridiculous. So, I defended the vocalist because in my eyes she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“She was only putting her own personal spin on the song. Ya’ know, just adding a little flavor.” I said to Jerry. But Jerry and Dan, who I now noticed was still standing but his right hand was no longer placed over his heart but rather at its side, were having none of it. “The Star Spangled Banner is supposed to be sung plain and simple! No theatrics!” Jerry said again, with a firm chin and a note of finality in his extremely irritated voice.

At Jerry’s words, I immediately let my eyes roll heavenward and said in an equally firm voice, “This is America, a person has the right to sing The Star Spangled Banner anyway they want to!” This time Dan joined in the dispute and said, “Your wrong, Tina. The song is not supposed to sung that way. It’s supposed to be sung plain and simple with no theatrics just like Jerry said before. To sing The Star Spangled Banner any other way is vulgar and disrespectful to the country, veterans and the flag.”

Again, I let my eyes roll heavenward and not really wanting to get into a more in depth dispute over how The Star Spangled Banner should be sung, I theatrically shrugged my shoulders and said, “Whatever.” and went off to clean the bathroom.

Folks, let me tell you that over the past four years every once in a while this patriotic ghost has come back to haunt me from time to time and get me thinking. And here are a few of my thoughts:

Since I know for a fact that Jerry and Dan didn’t have one racist bone in their bodies after knowing them for awhile I had to rule out the fact that they were complaining about the song The Star Spangled Banner being sang that way only because the woman who sang it was Black because I knew damn well that if a White man had done a little blue-eyed Righteous Brothers soul to the song, Jerry and Dan would be just as upset as well. Or even if a White man had performed a country rendition of The Star Spangled Banner (Jerry and Dan both like country music) with a little twang in his voice or even if a White man classical trained in the theatre had performed the song The Star Spangled Banner as if he were performing it on Broadway in a dramatic opera like Les Miserables or The Mikado, Jerry and Dan still would not have liked it and would have been upset by it.

I have long surmised that with these two men, who I like to think of as conservative Americans, when it comes to The Star Spangled Banner there is no middle ground, no compromise. Part of me wonders if they are just both products of their time being that they were both born approximately in the 1950’s or 1960’s where things were more black and white back then. Hmmm? Even though I disagree with them on how The Star Spangled Banner should be sung both men do have a right to their own opinion but so do I which is why I finally wrote about this subject.

Anyhoo, however you think that our national anthem, The Star Spangled Banner should be sung in my opinion is up to you as long as it is not sung in a hateful or perverted way. It is and always will be one of the best songs ever written! On that fact both, Jerry, who now lives up in heaven and Dan, who still lives on earth in New Hampshire just a couple of blocks away from me, will most definitely agree! And folks, finally we have some common ground. Hooray!!!

P.S.    Francis Scott Key you totally rock!  And lip syncing the American anthem totally sucks!  Did you hear that, Beyonce?

Leave a comment »

I HAVE A “PRETTY” UNUSUAL CHRISTMAS-RELATED QUESTION THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!


With the Christmas holiday season officially underway it got me to thinking of all of the things that officially go together with Christmas like decorating the Christmas tree and the outside of your house with many strings of colored lights, paying a humongous electric bill after Christmas due to decorating the Christmas tree and the outside of your house with many strings of colored lights, watching Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer; Frosty the Snowman; A Charlie Brown Christmas; A Christmas Story; Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life a million times in a one month stretch and dreading receiving the ultimate regifting Christmas present, a nasty ol’ fruitcake roll that has been in regifting circulation before even the concept of Santa Claus was even born.

But I must say the biggest thing on my mind in regards to things that officially go with Christmas are none of the above normal things but something a bit more unusual. Let me explain what’s in my unique mind in the form of a question. And here we go!

QUESTION: Will Molly Ringwald find it in her pretty in pink heart to wish Julia Roberts positive Christmas cheer this holiday season?

For those of you people out there who have been living under a rock and don’t know who these two women are, let me fill you in.

Both Molly Ringwald and Julia Roberts are actresses and have had incredible success in their acting careers but unfortunately people only one of these women is a superstar in part due to a bad decision by the other.

You see people, Molly Ringwald, the popular teen queen of the 80’s of such teen classic films like 16 Candles, The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink was offered the role of Vivian, the loveable hooker in the smash hit movie, Pretty Woman but foolishly and stupidly turned the role down thereby making room for a young and virtually unknown actress by the name of Julia Roberts who wisely accepted the role and this role made Julia a superstar and one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood and she still holds these titles even today while poor Molly Ringwald and I strongly stress the word “poor” went on to become a footnote in 80′ teenybopper cinema and was unfortunately never able to make the smooth and successful transition like Jodie Foster into successful “adult” movie star actress.

Which brings me back to my original question, “Will Molly Ringwald find it in her pretty in pink heart to wish Julia Roberts positive Christmas cheer this holiday season?”

I mean let’s face it people, Molly has every reason in the world not to want to send Julia positive Christmas cheer this season (primarily financial) but on the other hand nobody held a gun to Molly’s head and told her that she had to turn down the lead female role in the hit movie, Pretty Woman.

People, I am going to take my question a little further.

Will Molly Ringwald send Julia Roberts a nice Christmas card this holiday season telling her Merry Christmas and “no biggie” that due to her own stupidity Julia went on to monumental superstar motion picture acting success while the majority of people today like me who have never seen an episode of the ABC Family television show, The Secret Life of the American Teenager which Ringwald currently stars in, view her as just another washed-up celebrity from the past who made extremely bad career decisions like David Caruso, Debra Winger, Richard Grieco and Shelley Long?

Or will Molly take the low early in the show Grinch and Scrooge road this Christmas season and tell Julia to go fuck herself on one of the many crappy reality shows that so many of the washed-up celebrities from the past constantly appear on?

Hmmm???

It is a question that extremely nosey trouble making spiked eggnog filled people like me are dying to know this Christmas season!

Anyhoo, Have a Very Merry Christmas people!

And Molly, I support you on whatever you want to do.

P.S. I love the movies, 16 Candles, The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink!

Molly Ringwald, you totally ruled the teenaged 80’s!

Leave a comment »

%d bloggers like this: