Posts tagged Presidential Election

ELECTORAL COLLEGE 666, ELECTORAL COLLEGE RED & BLUE SONG!


electoralcollegeredandblue

-Electoral College 666, Founding fathers ingenious tricks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Hill & Gore won the pop vote, to some hooray, others boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, Makes brilliant scholars feel like dicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Red States, Blue States and Purple ones too,
-Electoral College 666, We the people don’t really pick our own president, oh fiddle sticks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Indirect democracy rules and picks your president for you,
-Electoral College 666, People vote in Nov, Electors vote in Dec amid an icy & snowy mix,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, 270 electoral votes, candidate baby, brings it all home to you,
-Electoral College 666, Discourages damn voter fraud, hey cheaters, baby yo’ plan got nix,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Swing States, Safe States any of them can flip the bird to you,

-Electoral College 666, Any foreigner messin’ with our elections best be prepared to take some licks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Trump & Bush won the EC vote, to some hooray, others boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, Us big-ass states rule the Electoral College you inferior dumb little hicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Us little-ass states in a close election can drop the bomb on you,
-Electoral College 666, I’m an Elector and i’m gonna’ vote my way, states, so screw you, I rule, pricks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, The People say honor thy State’s wishes, Electors damn well better do,
-Electoral College 666, Some say get rid of or update this outdated bitch, give it several-ass kicks,
-Electoral College Red & Blue, Others say the Electoral College works, so suck it, crybabies, boo hoo hoo,
-Electoral College 666, For now, noone really knows how to overhaul the EC system or do a major fix,
-And Finally, Electoral College Red & Blue, For now, many discussions in support and against the Electoral College means a little drama and mayhem will always definitely ensue!

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TOP 10 REASONS TO BE GLAD THE REVEREND AL SHARPTON ISN’T RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN THE 2012 ELECTION!


Number 10: If you are a White person and don’t vote for him, basically you are a racist.

Number 9: If you are a Hispanic person and don’t vote for him, basically you are a racist.

Number 8: If you are a Asian person and don’t vote for him, basically you are a racist.

Number 7: If you are a race, nationality or creed other than the above and don’t vote for him basically you are a racist.

Number 6: If you are a Black person and don’t vote for him, you are not only a traitor but you should be kicked out of the Black race just like Michael Jackson.

Number 5: If you are not a Black person and use the phrase, “That’s the pot calling the kettle black”, basically you are a racist.

Number 4: If he catches you buying a can of green olives at the supermarket basically you are a racist because you didn’t do the Reverend Jeremiah “Wright” thing and buy the black olives.

Number 3: If he sees you eating white, brown, red and yellow jelly beans and not eating the black jelly beans basically you are a racist.

Number 2: If you make any kind of racial slur (i.e. the “n” word or nappy-headed ho) and truly regret your hateful words afterward, be prepared to appear on his radio show for a severe scolding only to be told that you are a racist who will never be forgiven which is the perfect message a man of the cloth should be sending out. (Hey Don Imus, I can feel your pain!)

Number 1: Bouffant’s in your face twenty-four hours a day until November 2012! No! No! No! Say it isn’t so! (I’m sorry but a Black
Man wearing a bouffant hairdo is just plain wrong at least from this Black Woman who just wrote this blog post point of view!)

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RETRO PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION GEMS: (CINDY MCCAIN HAS DONE SOME STUPID THINGS BUT AT LEAST SHE DON’T HAVE BUMBLEBEE HAIR!)


This is a comedy piece that I wrote for the 2008 Presidential Election back in May 2008. Turn the clock temporarily back and enjoy!

Like alot of political wives before her, Cindy McCain has done alot of stupid things.

To name a few:

-Failing to release her and her husband’s tax returns like all of the other presidential candidates and their spouses have done thus looking like her and her husband have something to hide (which they probably do!) plus also fueling the fires that she is nothing more than a privileged elitist rich bitch which is a name that the majority of Democrats call her behind her badly dressed back.

-Criticizing fellow Republican party member, George Bush’s administration for not deploying enough troops during the Iraq war like she’s some kind of mathematical troop expert (Hey Cindy, I hate to be the one to break it to ya’ honey but you ain’t no John Nash!) thus fueling the fires that she is nothing more than a privileged elitist rich bitch which is a name that the majority of Republicans started calling her behind her badly dressed back after the George Bush troop deployment thing. (Hey Cindy, if you don’t think that the president sends enough troops over to the countries it’s fighting against in wartime, why the hell don’t YOU enlist in one of the services and take your ass over there and add one more soldier to the fight! I dare you Cindy! I triple dog dare you!)

-Giving a totally lame excuse when she got caught trying to rip off some recipes from The Food Network and pass them off as her own on the McCain campaign website thereby fooling absolutely noone because not for one minute does anybody think that this chick actually cooks her own meals when she probably has an army of minority servants to do it for her.

But there is one thing that separates Cindy from alot of the other political chicks in the spotlight today and that thing is that Cindy McCain doesn’t have no bumblebee hair!

So take that all of you hater democratic bitches!

This republican bombshell keeps her roots dyed regularly.  Basically when it comes to the upkeep of her hair, Cindy McCain keeps her shit tight and right!

And that goes along way baby in my book.

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RETRO PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION GEMS: (INSERT YOUR SNICKER HERE!) JOHN MCCAIN RECEIVES ENDORSEMENT FROM HEIDI MONTAG!


Here is a humor piece that I wrote for the 2008 presidential election back in April 2008. Take a minute to flashback then enjoy!

Screw you Barbie Bush!
Screw you Ann Coulter!

There’s a new Republican sister on the block and it ain’t Jennifer Lopez.

Instead of having a big ass, this chick has the biggest jackass of a boyfriend on the planet!

At this time, I would like to send a shout out to Spencer Pratt!

Without further ado, I would like to introduce all of you to Heidi Montag a.k.a. the backstabbing, no talent blonde bombshell on MTV’s hit twenty-something reality tv show, The Hills.

Extra! Extra! Stop the presses!

According to her current up-in-the-air jackass boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, Heidi is set to take the music industry by storm!

(Insert Your Snicker Here!)

He also says that Madonna and Britney Spears better watch out cause’ there’s a new diva about ready to upstage them. (The “diva” that he is referring to is Heidi Montag.)

(Insert Your Snicker Here!)

And making the extremely difficult decision of having to take time out of her busy hair dying/club hopping schedule, Heidi has decided to put her 15 minutes of fame to good use while it lasts by giving a jacked-up endorsement to Republican, John McCain for President.

(Insert Your Snicker Here!)

Omigod!!!!!!!!!!!

The question is will John McCain be stupid enough to acknowledge it.

Let’s pray to god folks, that he isn’t!

A political endorsement from Heidi Montag!

Omigod!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(And of course, one last loud-ass snicker!)

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