Posts tagged Song

SELFIE!


This is a song that I wrote about the here to stay, selfie craze.

First “Drop The Mic” Verse:

1. Ain’t gonna’ lie seriously,
2. Don’t like peeps hatin’ on me,
3. Just cuz I post pics continuously,
4. Chin up, cuz i’m a tough empire-style cookie,
5. And I do whatever the hell that makes me happy,
6. And that’s taking and posting many a selfie,
7. So what if I wanna’ show off my smokin’ hot body,
8. That bitch, Kim Kardashian ain’t got a damn thing on me,
9. Restaurants, trips, my new car, I paid a hefty fee (and got some of it, I will admit, scott free),
10. And now all of my followers on social media get to see my pics and envy the hell outta’ me,
11. It’s such a rush, the likes, the retweets, breaking the internet I one day clearly see,
12. Call me insecure or vain cuz I love this sort of attention, go ahead and spill the damn tea,
13. Say the selfie is nothing but a foolish tool of vanity,
14. Maybe it is to some but there is no way in hell that’s gonna’ stop fearless me,
15. From taking and posting many a selfie,
16. Millennium, yippee!

Last “Drop The Mic” Verse:

1. So to all of you haters out there,
2. Judgmental-ass noses all up in the air,
3. Takes alot of courage to lay your shit totally butt-ass bare,
4. So if you don’t like my pics I don’t really care,
5. Noone’s asking you to look, like or share,
6. So find yourself another website to fix your disapproving stare,
7. Cuz there are alot of other people who like my pics, just to be fair,
8. So there!
9. Take a moment to mentally prepare,
10. You might also want to sit your ass down in the nearest chair,
11. Before I tell you to kiss my well endowed derriere,
12. You choose cuz both of my butt cheeks are a fabulous pair,
13. Baby, no sweat, i’m gonna’ brush this shit off and not make it too big of an affair,
14. I don’t give in to peer pressure cuz i’m strong and don’t easily scare,
15. Like I said before, I gotta’ do what makes me personally happy,
16. And baby, that’s taking and posting many a selfie!

 

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ELECTION 2016, WHAT WILL YOU BE? A SONG WRITTEN BY TINA KNOWLEDGEABLE PEDEN


Verse 1:

-Ted Cruz was the first one to break his presidential run cherry,
-Rest in peace, “Bitch, set me up”, former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry,
-Don’t ya’ll think Monica Lewinsky’s 2015 comeback is precursor-ass scary,
-On no, Election 2016, i’m starting to feel a little bit wary,
-Oh Election 2016, I need some alka seltzer, Jesus, Joseph and Mary!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 2:

-My fellow Americans if Hilary is elected her husband will fuck every intern in the White House, he likes em’ young, baby,
-My fellow Americans if any Republican is elected they will give more tax breaks to the ultra rich like the Koch brothers, loud-ass carbonated burp, honey,
-Oh shut up liberal and leave Bristol Palin and other unqualified politician’s youngin’s be,
-Go suck an egg conservative before spending some of that leftover pocketed super pac money,
-Ahhh, Election 2016, the mudslinging goal, make your political opponent look like one hell of a pussy!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 3:

-Racism, poverty, immigration, usually not problems facing the tea party,
-Democrats in regards to these problems aren’t exactly Mother Teresa saintly,
-Oh fair candidate, oh dark candidate, we oh so need you to help us fix problems like these urgently,
-Show yourself gallant sir or bewitching maiden and lead us to economic and social prosperity,
-Election 2016 candidates, show us you really care, not Obamacare, oh so swiftly!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 4:

-Candidates, try not to Aaron Schock us by spending taxpayer money ala Downton Abbey,
-Or wiping your email server clean when you are not supposed to ala Clinton Hillary,
-Stop all the bullshit and fulfill all your campaign promises to your constituency,
-Bring back honor to politics and end the stereotypical rhetoric about politicians asap,
-Then you will see more people turning out to vote in elections incessantly! (Whoopee)

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

Verse 5:

-So Republicans, rush rush to the polls and do the Limbaugh baby,
-And Democrats hurry hurry to the polls and honor the Kennedy legacy,
-And if you like to masturbate, go out and vote Independently,
-Whatever gets you off, just make your voice heard great sex loudly,
-But most of all, American red, white and blue star spangled proudly!

Chorus:

-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-A lovely lady or debonair gentlemen to me,
-Oh Election 2016, what will you be,
-Will you love or totally bitch slap the hell outta’ me,
-Election 2016, to put it former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger bluntly,
-Will you Frank and Claire Underwood totally fuck the shit out of me,
-Oh Election 2016, please please tell me,
-Just what in the hell will you be,
-All this not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy,
-Hey, I just can’t wait till Tuesday, November 8, 2016 baby,
-When the answer to my question will be revealed at last, finally!

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IN THE GOD CLUB!


(Verse 1)
-Come and join
-Give a coin
-Praise the lord
-Salvation’s the reward

(Chorus)
-In the God club, you’re in
-Cleanse the soul of many a sin
-Gain a new family who wants you to win
-Learn bout Jesus, fish, loaves and wine, sorry no gin
-The church gives you a chance to start over, be born again
-Amen, hallelujah, i’m ready, so let the baptism and my new spiritual life begin

(Verse 2)
-Bible study
-Bring a buddy
-Priest in black
-Confessional yak

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
-Christmas mass
-Beautiful stained glass
-Birthday Jesus
-Joyous day pleases us

(Chorus)

(Verse 4)
-It’s okay if you’re not a sweetie
-Remorse and change absolutely must be
-We all have in life crosses to bear
-I will do my best to overcome them oh God, I swear

(Chorus)

(Verse 5)
-Now that I am a God club member I will pray
-Diligently serve you by doing good everyday
-Forgive me God for the past, today hear my new voice
-Hooray, I am now a christian, it’s time for me to rejoice

(Chorus)

Amen

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HEY TRUMP, RYAN, THE SENATE, THE HOUSE AND ALL YOU OTHER USELESS-ASS POLITICIANS, THIS ONE’S FOR YOU!


TIRED OF WAITIN’ ON HAPPINESS!

(Verse 1)

-I work hard all day,
-For crappy pay,
-Everyday to the lord I constantly pray,
-That one day things will finally go my way,
-But until then I have to sadly say,

(Chorus)

-Tired of waitin’ on happiness,
-I just want my chance,
-I don’t ever wanna’ hear the word, delay,
-If I do, someone’s gonna pay,
-Just want all the bad the hell outta’ my life,
-My heart’s had enough strife,
-I want a little happiness and I want it now,
-And I don’t give a damn exactly how,
-So tired,
-Of waitin’ on happiness,
-Yeah!

(Verse 2)

-Kids, job, life and grocery bills,
-Tears flowin’ down my cheeks at the window sill,
-Oh dear, Jesus, I just want to laugh and smile,
-Can’t cause’ my stomach’s filled with worry and bile,
-Please god can you just give me a break for a while,

(Chorus)

-Tired of waitin’ on happiness,
-I just want my chance,
-I don’t ever wanna’ hear the word, delay,
-If I do, someone’s gonna pay,
-Just want all the bad the hell outta’ my life,
-My heart’s had enough strife,
-I want a little happiness and I want it now,
-And I don’t give a damn exactly how,
-So tired,
-Of waitin’ on happiness,
-Yeah!

(Verse 3)

-I know it’s tough but i’m a fighter and will plow through,
-Sink or swim, no choice what this survivor is gonna’ do,
-I’m a good person and deserve only the best,
-Till I get the happiness I deserve, not gonna’ rest,
-But my heart tells me you’ll get it baby this is only a test,
-Be patient, happiness for you won’t be a life long quest,
-But in the meantime, vent all you want, be my guest,

(Chorus)

-Tired of waitin’ on happiness,
-I just want my chance,
-I don’t ever wanna’ hear the word, delay,
-If I do, someone’s gonna pay,
-Just want all the bad the hell outta’ my life,
-My heart’s had enough strife,
-I want a little happiness and I want it now,
-And I don’t give a damn exactly how,
-So tired,
-Of waitin’ on happiness,
-Yeah!

To purchase a license to use this lyric please go to:                 http://songbay.co/view-lyric/3833/

NoMoreTearsEnoughisEnough

EnoughisEnoughNoMoreTearsUnofficialAntiTrumpSong

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QUESTIONS POP CULTURE STYLE!


-Why do people who call themselves fashion experts always dress so badly?
-Why is it that even when you are careful you still spill stuff on your clean clothes?
-Why does the mailman always deliver important packages to you when you are gone?
-Why do parents say “i’m doing this because I love you” right before they punish you?
-Why is it that when you really want a cold drink there is only one ice cube in the ice tray?
-Why is it that whenever you are watching something good on tv the phone rings?
-Why is it that when you have to poop in a public place someone is always around?
-Why must Hollywood remake kick-ass old movies into crappy-ass bad ones? 

-Hmmm,
-Question, questions in my mind,
-I sometimes ponder them all the time,
-Seeking ways on how to solve them,
-But if I cant, no biggie, no real sin,
-But if I can, I really do feel that I win,
-So bring it on questions, i’m smart, kingpin,
-Perplextion to reflection, questions, let the mind games begin! 

-Why does your menstrual period always come down when you are wearing white clothing? 
-Why can’t there be more clever word play in songs like “Don’t it make my brown eyes blue?” 
-Why didn’t any of the skanks on Sex and the City get HIV as much as they screwed around? 
-Why do kids prefer a flat-ass McDonald’s hamburger to a big-ass hamburger made by their mom? 
-Why do killers in tv shows and movies always walk slowly while the victim hauls serious ass?  
-Why is it that people like Rob Kardashian with business degrees can’t get a real job? 
-Why do cats lick their nasty-ass saliva all over their bodies then declare themselves to be clean? 
-Why does the biggest Christmas shopping day of the year keep getting pushed forward? 

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TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S WACKY-ASS BUSINESS IDEAS & VENTURES FOR CHRISTMAS TIME IN THE NYC! (LIGHTBULB 4)


Hey Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular, I couldn’t help but notice that some of your Christmas productions are really quite beautiful!

However……….

I have also noticed that some of your Christmas productions have also taken a big-ass dose of ex-lax and become quite regular.

And Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular, sometimes that regularity shit ain’t good.

I mean, come on ya’ll, it’s Christmas and it’s the Big Apple for Christ’s sake!

Ya’ll bitches really need to shake it up and show the world that NYC still has some kick-ass Christmas cred.

And low and behold, I, Tina Knowledgeable Peden, am here to help ya’ll with that.

Hey!

Red and green lightbulb!

Hey Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular, have you hallowed bastions of Christmas glory ever considered doing a special Xmas version of the hit 1986 song, Yah Mo B There by Michael McDonald and James Ingram?

To further bolster my yuletide business lightbulb, check out these kick-ass holy spiritual lyrics:

Yah Mo B There!

(Song Lyrics By James Ingram/Michael McDonald/Rod Temperton/Quincy Jones)

(Verse 1)

Heavenly father watching us all
We take from each other and give nothing at all
Well it’s a dog-gone shame
But never too late for change
So if your luck runs low
Just reach out and call his name, his name

[Chorus]

Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Whenever you call

(Verse 2)

Never be lonely lost in the night
Just run from the darkness
Looking for the light
‘Cause it’s a long hard road
That leads to a brighter day (hey)
Don’t let your heart grow cold
Just reach out and call his name, his name

[Chorus]
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Yah mo be there (up and over)
Whenever you call

(Verse 3)

You can count on it brother
‘Cause we’re all just finding our way
Travelling through time
People got to keep pushing on
No matter how many dreams slip away
Yah will be there

(Verse 4)

Well it’s a dog-gone shame
But never too late for change
So when your luck runs low
Just reach out and call his name, his name

Yah mo be there, I will be there
Yah mo be there, When you need a friend
Yah mo be there, yeah ill be there whenever you call

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Now ain’t those song lyrics beautiful but cool!

And you know

Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular what would be even cooler?

It would be oh so cool to see a Jesus look-a-like and a big ol’ jolly Santa look-a-like up on your big-ass stages performing the song Yah Mo B There at Christmas time in front of the masses!

It would definitely be something different and break you out of your ex-lax regularity shit cycle.

I’ll tell ya’ NYC that even I would pay big money to see Jesus and Santa doing a soulful rendition of the song, Yah Mo B There while at the same time shakin’ their booties and gettin’ down with their good selves to this song.

(P.S. That’s some ultra-funny but ultra-inspiring shit!)

So Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular do yourselves a big-ass favor and get off of your ex-lax asses and immediately license the song, Yah Mo B There for a musical production, pay the astronomical licensing fee, write a kick-ass musical number, rehearse the heck out of it then when the time is right, i.e. November 9th – December 30th start performing the hell, pun intended and sorry Jesus, outta that baby! And watch the yuletide dollars come rolling or should I say, prancing in!

By the by, Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular you NYC giants might also want to consider teaming up with Lance Manufacturing, LLC because they are the owners of the Archway Cookies brand in order to sell their ever popular Bells & Stars Christmas Cookies during your holiday musical performances and in exchange Lance/Archway could put photos of either Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular on their cookie packages to further promote your Christmas holiday performances. That way you’ll have profitable but tasty Christmas dollars prancing in at Xmas every year! And what a lovely yet delicious Christmas tradition that would make!

Hallelujah and Amen!

And another P.S. Broadway, Lincoln Center or Radio City Music Hall but in particular Radio City Christmas Spectacular if you really want to break out of your ex-lax regularity shit cycle, you might also want to consider performing two other Michael McDonald songs for your Christmas productions.

Perform the song, I Keep Forgetting, with a Jesus look-a-like, a Santa look-a-like, and a female vocalist of your choice wearing Blues Brothers type hats and call the group “The Heavenly Hats.”

And perform the song, Sweet Freedom, with a Jesus look-a-like, a Santa look-a-like, and a male vocalist of your choice wearing Blues Brothers type red, white and blue hats and call the group “The Heavenly Hats.” And don’t forget to add in a dancing Statue of Liberty!

That way you’ll have three kick-ass Christmas musical numbers to represent and give kick-ass cred to the NYC!

Really take a bite out of the big candied apple at Christmas time this year!

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TINA “KNOWLEDGEABLE” PEDEN’S POP CULTURE DICTIONARY (VOLUME 13) WHAT IS A STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS BUG UP THE ASS?


(Definition) A State Of The Union Address Bug Up The Ass is literally a nasty-ass fungus or infection that goes straight up into your butthole and eventually settles itself in your brain and drives you absolutely bonkers once a year due to your favorite tv show, movie, commercial, video or infommercial being preempted by the President’s Stupid Ol’ Annual State Of The Union Address because like the subject trigonometry that you learn in high school the information in the President’s Annual State Of The Union Address is something that most Americans will never use and this major inconvenience really pisses alot of Americans the fuck off.

I will now use this phrase in a sentence to clarify its meaning.

“Dude, stay the fuck away from Constance for the rest of the day because she’s not only got a major case of Baby Fever but she’s also got a wicked nasty State Of The Union Address Bug Up The Ass! Dude, you know how much her totally obsessed ass worships those Johnson’s Baby Shampoo commercials. Dude, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay the fuck away from her!”

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